Brothers
by AJOregon
Summary: Missing scenes from the latest episode. Tim dealing with his Fathers death with the help of Tony.
1. Chapter 1

Tony had been worried since the moment that Tim lost his cool in the bullpen. He knew something had been up for weeks and assumed it had to do with his father but Tim didn't talk and Tony did not want to pry...at least not to him directly but when he blew up at work the first thing Tony did was text his younger sister Sarah. He had talked to her a few times since she had been a suspect in one of their investigations and she had gotten together with him to surprise Tim on his last birthday. When she told him that the chemo had stopped working and that the only option was a surgery that had a fifty percent chance of killing him and fifty percent chance of extending his life by a few months. No wonder he was McGrumpy!

Being kept busy usually helped Tony so he tried to make Tim the lead on the internet case...and the fact that he was a computer genius he thought it would take his mind off family stuff. Sarah had texted him again, before calling her own brother to tell him that the surgery had been canceled. That his death was near and there was nothing that anyone could do about it. She had called Tony when Tim did not answer his phone and he had listened to her cry, more about her brother than her father, well, not so much Tim but the rocky relationship the two had shared. She wanted him to have the chance to put things to peace before it was too late.

It had been too late to take McGee off the case so he went to Abby to help speed it up... Tony made sure that Tim ate throughout the case, that he took breaks to sleep down in Abby's lab and helped him field phone calls as much as he could. He watched as Gibbs sent him home at the close of the case and fought back his own tears when Gibbs told him that his father had made the time for him...this was his mentors first Christmas without his father alive. The whole team had gone to the funeral but it seemed like a lifetime ago. It also made him think of his own father...who couldn't even put the effort in to getting on the plane when Tony had purchased the ticket for him. They had only spoken twice...both times with no mention of the missed flight and only of the random women or parties that were occupying his time.

Tony realized that his family was his team. His father was Gibbs, his brother Tim, his sister Abby. They had worked together, played together and grieved together over Kate, Frank and even helped him to deal with Ziva leaving after her father had died. He had so many regrets in life and he knew that he had to be there for his family just like they had been there for him even if they did not ask for it or even want it.

Tony called Sarah each of the four nights that Tim was staying at his parents house, he had tried Tim but his phone had been shut off five minutes after he left the office. On the fifth night Sarah answered crying, "He is gone Tony...the funeral home is on their way to pick up his body. We were all in there with him when he took his last breath...Tim is still in there with him...he won't leave...I am scared Tony...he hasn't cried and now he isn't even talking to us...he is just in there frozen staring at Dad." She sobbed.

He spent the next forty-five minutes doing his best to comfort his best friends little sister over the phone, doing what Tim was not able to do. He could hear their mother in the background talking to who he assumed was the people from the funeral home. It got very quiet and then he heard a door slam and a wimper, "Tim just ran out...I don't know where he is going Tony...I don't know what to do...I need to...I need him to be okay."

"I will make sure he is safe Sarah. I will do everything I can to help him to be okay...but I will make sure he is safe." Tony promised her as he got off the phone. He switched over and pulled up the gps tracker that Tim had on his car and watched as he drove from Maryland to Virginia, stopping outside of his apartment.

Tony was one of the only four people who had his private home number and he gave it a call. Only himself, Gibbs, Vance and Ziva had it and Tim knew exactly who was calling so he picked up the phone but remained mute. "I am bringing over pizza and beer." Tony told him. He heard Tim grunt and Tony hung up the phone, already in his car and driving towards the apartment.

He let himself in and locked the door behind him. He flipped on a lamp in the pitch dark apartment and saw Tim sitting on the floor in front of his couch. Tony set the pizza down on the counter and took out two plates and served up a couple slices each and took the caps off the bottles. He handed Tim his and sat down at his computer going to the Comcast webpage he logged into his account and started the first old movie he found.

They ate in silence, watched movies in silence, when Tim's phone rang a little after midnight Tony got up to answer it, warrenting a smirk from Tim. Tony recognized the voice immediately as Sarah and he was able to calm her down in seconds. Tim was impressed, his sister was quite the drama queen and to know the calming effect Tony has on her made him relax as well.

Sarah had told him the details for the already planned funeral, it was to be rushed because of the Christmas holiday. Tony repeated everything Sarah was saying giving Tim time to process the information without actually having a conversation. Tim felt Tony sit down on the couch with his leg against Tim's shoulder and Tim leaned into it.

His brother was always looking out for him, always protecting him and for the first time he really realized how much Tony did for him and how close the two of them had gotten over the years to warrent Tony now discussing some old movie with his baby sister.

When Tony hung up the phone nearly a half hour later Tim had fallen asleep leaning against Tony's leg. He let Tim sleep, snoring softly as he watched the end of the movie. As the credits rolled Tony leaned down and helped Tim to stand, he woke up only enough to allow himself to be led into his bedroom and to his bed.

"I will be back tomorrow to take you to the church." Tony told him before walking into Tim's closet and rifling through pulling out a black suit, white shirt and a black tie. He then walked over to the dresser and pulled out a fresh tshirt, boxers and Star Trek socks. He laid them all over the arm chair that was outside of the bathroom and went back over and sat on the edge of the bed.

With closed eyes Tim whispered, "I need to get there an hour early."

"We can do that McTrecky." When Tim smiled at the nicname Tony put his hand on Tim's leg, "Call me if you need me to come back."

Tim nodded and Tony watched as his breathing became slow and regular. He got up and went into the kitchen and cleaned up the small mess he had made and shut off the computer. He stuck his head back into the bedroom to make sure Tim was asleep before he let himself out, locking the door behind him.

Tony knew that Tim wouldn't call and he spent the night tossing and turning eventually falling asleep around four. He woke up at ten and cleaned up his own apartment before calling Gibbs at two telling him the details of the funeral. He knew that the message would be passed on to the rest of the team...he only hoped Abby would have enough smarts not to run over to the apartment.

He let himself into Tim's apartment at a quarter to three to find Tim sitting at his type writer with a folded sheet in his hand. Together they walked out to Tony's car and he drove them across town to the old Catholic Church. When they got there Tony saw Sarah pacing out front and he quickly got out of the car and brought her inside, distracting her enough for Tim to come inside and go to the room that held his Father without being ambushed.

Though he didn't know what was on the paper he had guessed it was what he had been trying to say to his dad for years. It made him sad to think that even with as much time they had spent together in the last few months that Tim still had not been able to resolve the issues that the two of them had.

After Tony saw the Priest walk in and back out of the room he passed Sarah off to Penny and he went in to find Tim. He didn't know what to expect but it certainly "wasn't to find Tim crying next to the casket. Tony walked towards him and put his arm around his back pulling his shoulder into him. "He loved you McGeek...had a funny way of showing it but he loved you. We all love you."

Tim turned to look at Tony and Tony pulled him in for a full on hug. "I couldn't say it Tony...I couldn't get the words out while he was alive." Tim mumbled into his shoulder.

"You got them out now...the Admiral was not exactly an easy man to talk to."

"I am a lot like him."

"We all learn from our fathers."

"And Brothers." Tim said as he picked up his head, looking Tony right in the eyes.

"And Brothers." Tony agreed. "You ready to get a bunch of hugs from family members you never see and your fathers friends you never met?"

"I think I could use a drink." Tim told him.

"You will learn someday Probie." Tony said as he pulled out a flask from his jacket pocket.


	2. Chapter 2

"What the hell Tony put that away!" Tim yelled at his friend.

"Give me a break McGee. Take a swig and relax...no one here will care and it is your Dad's funeral...do you really think you are going to make it through without some help?"

"You are serious?"

"As a heart attack. If I would have had some I may have made it through my Mother's funeral." Tony whispered.

"I've been to a funeral before Tony."

"Not one for your own parent...it is not even comparable."

"Sorry...I forgot...this must be hard for you."

"Not about me today McGee just take a shot...it is time to get this show on the road." Tony said handing Tim the flask. They each took a shot and the flask was tucked discreetly back into his jacket pocket just as the Priest walked in.

"People are arriving now Tim." He said smiling softly at the two who were over by the fire.

"Thank you Father. Go ahead and get this all started. Is there anything Tim needs to do before he goes into the sanctuary to join his family?" Tony asked.

"No Son, everything is ready. The Admiral selected a group of his men to do the heavy lifting." He said before walking out.

"Let's go Timmy." Tony said leading Tim out of the small room and into the church. Tony sat down next to Tim who was next to Sarah in the front row. His mother and Penney finished out the row. The funeral was quick and to the point, much like the Admiral was the few times that Tony had met the man. After his casket was taken out Tony took Tim out the side door and they got into his car, he knew that if anyone tried to hug Tim he would crumble. He was trying too hard to hold himself together.

The only tell he gave was tapping his thumb to his ring finger on his right hand...a habit he had developed when they were held captive in the desert...a habit that he was doing the entire length of the service and he was still doing in the car. Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out the flask and handed it to Tim. "Am I really that bad?" He asked quietly.

"No...but..."

"My finger?"

"No...I was going to say the burial is worse than the funeral."

"I have been to a burial before Tony."

"Not for your parent you haven't." Tony said looking over with tears in his eyes.

"Is it really that different?" Tim asked him now scared.

"For me it was...when they lower the casket into the ground...pile the dirt on top...it makes it all final...all real. I couldn't handle it at my Mom's. I...My nanny of the week had to carry me to the car...Senior said I was an embarrassment..." Tony said avoiding eye contact and focusing on the flashing lights on the motorcycle leading the funeral procession.

"I don't think I can do this." Tim admitted as he took a swig from Tony's flask.

"You will."

"This sucks."

"Yup...but at least you wont be told you are an embarrassment."

"I have to be strong for my family...The Admiral...Dad said that I need to be the man of the family now."

"Do you think Gibbs is a man?" Tony asked and Tim looked at him like he had gone insane. "Gibbs cried at his father's funeral...and at Mike's."

"Thanks Tony." Tim said reclining the seat and resting his arm over his eyes. Tony reached over and set his hand on Tim's shoulder and held it as they pulled into the cemetery. They parked and silently got out of the car and walked straight to the row of seats in front of the waiting casket.

The burial seemed to be in slow motion but in reality it was quite quick. No one wanted to be in the cold and snow any longer than they needed to be. The Priest led a prayer, they folded the flag, presented it to Tim, did the guns and then started to lower the casket into the ground. They all got up and laid a rose on the lowering casket and dropped a handful of dirt before sitting back in the frozen metal chairs. Tony heard Sarah's sobs and reached his arm around Tim to her and pulled her into Tim, holding them both. In all honesty Tony did not know if he was doing it for them or for himself, with tears streaming down his face he felt Gibb's and the rest of the teams eyes on their backs.

Tim could also feel the eyes on his back and heard the choked sobs from Sarah and broken breathing coming from Tony on his other side. He leaned into Tony and allowed the tears to fall from his own eyes. They cried through the remainder of the burial as the Priest announced that the reception would be back at the church people quickly got into their cars and left. Not five minutes later the family and Tony were the only ones left in the cemetery. Penney, Sarah and their mother left soon after telling the guys to drive safe back to the church as it was now snowing on them.

"If we go back I have to talk to all the suits...to all the people pretending like they actually knew him..."

"Or we can stay here and freeze to death."

"Can we take the long way back?"

"Sure Tim." Tony said standing up.

They drove through town rather than the highway to get back to the church, Tim was sure that Tony had never driven so slow in his life and it was greatly appreciated. When they got back to the church they sat in the car letting it idle. Tony could feel his phone vibrate in his pocket the entire time. He was sure it was either Sarah or Abby...or both wondering where they were.

When Tim realized it had been over an hour since the burial had finished he started tapping his thumb to his finger again. "I am ready whenever you are." Tony told him, "If we actually go in my pocket may stop buzzing." He said with a smirk.

"I left mine at home."

"You ready?" Tony asked. When Tim nodded the two of them got out of the car and walked quickly through the snow to the side door that led to the reception hall and snuck in the back.

Well...tried to sneak into the back. They were greeted by a hysterical Sarah throwing a phone at them. Tony's quick reflexes caught it a split second before it was to crack Tim in the head. "WHERETHEHELLHAVEYOUBEENIHAVEBEENFREAKINGOUTYOUWERESUPPOSETOBERIGHTBEHINDUSANDWEHAVEBEENBACKFORALMOSTANHOUR!" Sarah screamed at them pacing back and forth. Tim shook his head and tried to walk past.

When Tony got closer he saw that Sarah was in fact a complete mess, full blown panic attack mode with tears streaming down her face, not just her usual drama queen attitude she had towards Tim. Tony pulled her close to him holding her head into his chest and running his hand down her hair whispering for her to breathe with him. To see her this upset Tony was reminded of himself. When Tim turned around to see Sarah crying hysterically into Tony's chest his heart broke. He didn't realize.

"God Sarah...I didn't know..."

"Couch or something Tim...never been here before today." Tony said quickly. Tim snapped into action and Tony half carried and half led her to the back of the hall where he sat down and pulled her onto his lap as he simultaneously took off his winter coat and wrapped it around her as a blanket. Tim watched as Tony rocked his sister back and forth and held her so tight into him that if she had been fully there it would have probably hurt. Tony saw Gibbs start to walk towards them with the gang in tow before realizing what he was doing and he stopped the gang and instead led them to a table to get some food.

As she calmed down Tony stopped rocking her but did not loosen his hold. "Tim you need to thank everyone for coming...I know it is hard...but these people gave up their Christmas with their families to be here to support you and yours." Tony told him gently as he looked down and saw that Sarah was beginning to fall asleep in his arms. "Go do it and humor the stiffs and I will lay her down and come save you in a couple minutes."

"I hate this."

"You still have my flask." Tony smiled at him.

"Just what I need..Thank you General...with booze on my breath...right."

"Suck it up McWhiner."

"You can be such a pain in my..."

"I love you too Timmy." Tony smiled at him as Tim shook his head and stalked off on a mission.

"Thank you Tony." Sarah whispered into his shoulder with her eyes still closed.

Tony hugged her into his chest again, "Everything will be okay you know...different...but okay."

"I know." She whispered hugging him back before wiggling off of his lap and covering herself with his coat. "I am going home with the two of you...I cannot handle mom or Penney anymore."

"Campfire at Timmy's." Tony said smiling at her, he didn't know how two people so different could be related. "I am off to save the Wizard."

Tony walked up to Tim and wrapped his arm loosely around his shoulder quickly to let him know he was there before making his way around the crowd. Tim was amazed at how smoothly he interacted with everyone there, recalling stories that he had told him years ago as complaints and was hearing them now in new light as Tony was able to turn them into loving father son moments. He certainly had a way with words and Tim wondered how much of what Tony had told him was the truth and how much was what Tony wished was the truth about his childhood.

When Gibbs and the crew finally came over Tony and Tim they were wrapped in hugs and passed around between their friends. Abby was going on about how cute they were all dressed up, and kept asking Tim if he was actually okay...Gibbs finally had to pull her off of him and pass her to Tony, "Abbs he isnt like us...you have to let him come to you...he doesn't do the emotional stuff remember?" Abby rolled her eyes at him and crossed her arms. "I love you Abbs." Tony said pulling her into him eliciting a giggle and a hug in return.

After everyone had left Tony told Penney that he would take Tim and Sarah home and to just go when they got done. Tim had gone and made himself comfortable on the other end of the couch from where his sister was laying, burrowed in Tony's coat. Tony walked over and picked up the bundle of Sarah and pulled her onto his lap, she stiffened when he first picked her up but quickly relaxed into his arms with one arm going around his back and the other gently gripping his shirt and her head rolling on his shoulder to his arm. "Lets get her home. It has been a long day."

Tony laid her down in the backseat and buckled her up. She used his go bag for a pillow. Tony knew that she was not actually asleep but that she needed space. Tim however thought she was out like a light. The two had quiet conversation, first talking about the weather, then a replay of the funeral, then Tim asked Tony about his Mother's funeral. Tony clinically told him about that awful day in such extreme detail it was heart breaking.

"Do you ever go visit her gravesite?"

"I avoid cemeteries if I can."

"You haven't been to visit her?"

"I have...I just don't like to...she is four rows away from Kate." Tony admitted.

Tim looked at him shocked, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Don't usually talk about it." Tony answered, "Besides...movies were our thing...I talk about movies all the time." He said smiling at all the memories.

"I am scared that I wont be able to remember the Admiral...my dad...with happy memories."

"Give it time Tim...he loved you...you loved him...that is all the matters."

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

"No."

"How do you go on?"

"You learn how to deal...things trigger memories...it isn't always easy...sometimes it sucks...at least you have a sister to talk to about it." Tony said looking at Sarah in the rear view mirror. She had her eyes closed but a small smiled appeared on her lips.

"She can't see me cry."

"She did today...why would any day in the future be any different?"

"I need to be strong for her."

"You don't have to be strong all the time."

"He told me I had to be the man now...that was the last thing he said to me...not that he loved me...not that he was proud of me...he told me I needed to be the man now."

"Just be a human Tim."

"Can we talk about something else?" Tim asked uncomfortable.

"House on Haunted Hill or Annie?"

"Huh?"

"Which one do you want to start with?"

"Are you serious?"

"You said to talk about something else." Tony said with a smirk as he pulled into his parking space at Tim's apartment.

"Annie." Sarah said as she slid her arms into Tony's coat sitting up and unbuckling.

"Good choice." Tony said reaching for his go bag and helping Sarah out of the car.

Tim looked back and forth between the two of them shaking his head, "Unbelievable." With a humph he asked, "How long have you been listening?"

"Since we left the church." Sarah answered smugly, Tony couldn't help but smile as Tim stomped his way into his apartment leaving the door open behind him. "I love you Timmy." Sarah said kissing his cheek before sitting down on the couch curling herself up in Tony's coat again.

Tony went into the bedroom with his bag and changed out of his suit and into a pair of old faded jeans and an old NCIS tshirt. When he went back into the living room he saw that Sarah was still in her dress and his coat but that she had kicked off her heals. He tossed her his bag, "Go change...get comfy...they will be too big but..."

"Thanks Tony." Sarah said with a smile and jumping up, shrugging off the coat before going into the bathroom.

"She has a crush on you." Tim remarked as he sat down at his typewriter.

"For good reason...I am quite the catch." Tony said with an exaggerated eye roll.

"You are sixteen years older than she is."

"Now now Timothy you just relax and write while Sarah and I watch our movies...I will never understand how she got the love for movies and you only care for the stuffy old books." Tony teased.

"Maybe if you read a few more books then you wouldn't constantly act like a child."

"You just called me old and now you are saying I am a child. Make up your mind." Tony said as Sarah walked back into the living room wearing Tony's NCIS sweats that were about five sizes too big and a Baltimore PD hoodie. "I like the look." He told her as she sat down on the couch next to him.

Tim rolled his eyes and stalked into the bedroom slamming the door behind him. "What's his problem?" She asked Tony as he started the movie.

"He can't decide if I am too old or too young." Tony said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Put them together and you are just right." Sarah said leaning back into the corner of the couch tucking her toes under Tony's leg.

Tony heard the shower start and knew that Tim was more than likely drowning his tears in the water. A part of him wanted to go in there and make sure he was okay, but he knew that would be crossing the line. Tony decided he would give him a half hour before going in to check on him. He had a hard time focusing on the movie and was just listening to the water running on the other side of the wall. "You aren't paying attention to the movie." Sarah noted.

"Hmmm...oh...I guess not."

"Did your father really treat you how you make it sound?"

She wanted to go there? "Not all the time...sometimes it was worse...sometimes not...when he wanted to show me off he was the model of a perfect father...when he didn't...well...he wasn't."

"I'm sorry."

"It's all good."

"No it isn't...you take care of Tim...how you took care of me today...that was how you wished people were for you...that is why you care so much about everyone else."

Damn...she was better at reading people than he was. "Do you ever let anyone take care of you?"

"Haven't really had anyone try..."

"Never?"

"My mom...but she died when I was eight...then Kate...when I got the plague...she stayed with me...but then Ari..."

"Killed her...I remember Tim saying something about that."

"Ziva and I...but then she left...I still have her necklace in my desk as a reminder..."

"Reminder of what Tony?"

"To not let anyone get close to me." Tony said shrugging his shoulders.

"Because they always leave you."

"Something like that." Tony said noticing that the water had finally shut off.

"When it is all you know...Gibbs has been around the longest..."

"But he left too...and then came back..."

"Kinda hard to get past all that...too scared."

"The movies never leave."

"Nope...there are always new ones coming out and the old ones...they are the same every time I watch them..."

"What is the same every time you watch them?" Tim asked walking out in flannel pajama pants and a crisp white tshirt.

"Movies."

"Of course they are the same every time...you watch the same movies over and over." Tim said sitting down at his typewriter, his back to his best friend and his sister who had turned to each other and smiled.

"Having something consistent is important." Sarah said, not taking her eyes off Tim. Tony knew that she was not just talking about the movies anymore.

"This is the best part." Tony said refocusing on the movie. Sarah sighed and turned her eyes back to the movie, Tim started typing away and Tony was relieved that the conversation had ended.

Tony and Sarah took turns choosing the movies; Annie, House on Haunted Hill, Winnie the Pooh, Fly Boys... They explained why they chose the movies they did before starting them but there was very little talking other than that. A little after four in the morning Tim was distracted from his focus on his book by the sound of silence. When he turned around he couldn't help but smile, they were both asleep on the couch, heads both resting on a stack of pillows between them and legs dangling over the opposite ends. Tim slowly got up and stretched before walking over and covering the two most important people to him with an old quilt before retiring to his bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I warn you now...This chapter is ooc...but not so far out there it is unbelievable. Please review, respond, applaud, criticize (constructive please) and enjoy! AJ**_

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><p>Sarah woke up the next morning to the sound of a soft whimpering next to her head, when she opened her eyes she quickly remembered she was at her brothers house, on his couch and the whimpering was coming from the still sleeping Anthony Dinozzo. She pushed herself up and put one arm over his chest and used her other hand to run her fingers through his hair and down his cheek. She froze when she felt the trail of tears that ran into the pillow realizing that whatever he was dreaming about was enough to bring such a strong man to tears but then she slid the pillows out so that his head was now laying on her and she was holding him, "Whatever you are dreaming about Tony...you are safe here." She whispered pulling him into her.<p>

She felt him stiffen as he woke up and realized it was just a dream and that someone was now holding him, "Will you tell me what you were dreaming about?" Sarah asked him wishing that he could relax and let her take care of him. Tony was not one to be held, he was not one to spend a night with anyone either, at least not a whole night. Once he realized that it was Sarah that was holding him he gave in and answered...she was just as stubborn as he was and knew that it would be better to spit it out...like ripping off a bandaid.

"My mom." He whispered so quietly she questioned whether or not he had actually said anything at all. Sarah pulled him closer into her shoulder and he finally relaxed against her. "When they lowered her casket...I fell to the ground and Senior grunted to my nanny to put me in the car...she carried me there then just left me in the backseat by myself...I was eight...when Senior got into the car he wouldn't even look at me...just lectured me about how I was such an embarrassment and if I couldn't pull myself together I could spend the rest of the day in the car...which I did." He told her, even though that was not what he had actually been dreaming about, it was a memory he had stuck in his head since the burial the previous day.

"How did she die?" Sarah asked him, she didn't quite believe the story he whipped out as the actual dream but she did know him well enough to know that he didn't often talk about his mom...let alone the painful memories associated with her death.

"Watching a movie...laying with me in the bed...I don't know what actually killed her...I didn't even know she had died until a nurse came in to check on her and pulled me off of her shoving me into the corner and calling in a bunch of doctors."

"You don't usually talk about this do you?" She asked feeling him stiffen again.

"Never...at least not until now."

"You miss them." She said knowing he wasn't just thinking about his Mother anymore.

"Everyday."

"You have changed since Ziva left."

"Not on purpose."

"Is anything ever on purpose Tony?" She asked, trying to get him to talk...knowing this could be the only chance to get him to open up and get past whatever is haunting his dreams.

"She was my best friend."

"And Kate?" She knew she couldn't stay on any one person or memory for long or he would freeze up again and she wanted more than anything to help him after how much he had helped her and Tim the day before.

"Was like my sister...she was the only person other than Gibbs who could read me...knew when to crack a joke or head slap me...bring me back to the now..."

"Yesterday why did you wince when Gibbs hugged you?"

"You saw that?"

"Why Tony?"

"He said he was proud of me."

"For good reason." Tony sat up quickly and Sarah saw his eyes go cloudy as he recalled a memory. She kept her distance but put her hand on his arm, "Having someone hold you so tight that it hurts, to rock you back and forth, to cry with you...to share a flask of only God knows what concoction...to take the long way back after sitting in the snow...just being here to watch movies and give us normalcy when nothing is normal anymore...you need that just as much as Tim or I do."

"Not about me." Tony whispered, "You lost your Dad."

"And you lost your Mom."

"Let's make breakfast." Tony said hoping she would drop it...he had already shared more with her than anyone he could remember...not even Kate or Ziva knew about his mom.

"I can be just as stubborn as you." Sarah told him as she followed him into the kitchen.

"I hope so." He whispered as he reached into the cupboard and pulled out the pancake mix.

Sarah smiled and hopped up onto the counter to watch him cook. They get lost in naming all the movies in which a meal is prepared, what was cooked and who was doing the cooking...they had both decided that there are too few movies with scenes of people making the meal and far too many with sitting around the table.

Tim walked in just as the last pancake was flipped off the pan and onto the plate. "How do you always have so much energy in the morning?" Tim asked trying to judge Tony's mood.

"How do you not?" He asked waving the plate of pancakes under his nose.

"Fresh coffee in the pot." Tony said as he took his plate over to the computer where he started Princess Bride.

"Seriously this movie again? You just watched it last week." Tim groaned as he poured his very large cup of coffee.

"How many camp outs do the two of you have?" Sarah asked with a smirk.

The three of them ate, and watched the movie in comfortable silence. Tim watched how his sister and Tony sat, both leaning in towards the other but not actually touching, just like they had fallen asleep the night before. He wondered what they were thinking, when and how the two of them had gotten as close as they had. How Tony had realized Sarah was actually freaking out at the reception and what to do to calm her down, how he had been blind to it all.

He was also thinking about the conversation he had heard through the wall this morning...Tony's whimpering had woken him as well, as it did most nights that Tony had stayed over. It usually went on longer and he knew that Sarah had woken him...that she had gotten him to talk about what was torturing him even though Tim could not hear every word he heard enough to know better than interrupt. Tony needed someone to be there for him just as much as he had needed Tony to be there for him and his sister. He was glad that Sarah was able to be that person for him but regretted never waking him in the past.

When the movie ended Tony reached over to his phone and was quiet for a few seconds, "I need to run a few errands...Sarah you want me to run you home on my way?" He asked her without looking up from his phone.

Sarah looked at Tony and then to Tim, "You going to be okay if we go?"

"Yeah...I am not much company anyway...all I am doing is writing."

"What is the name of this book McGregor?" Tony asked, sliding his phone into his jeans pocket.

"Not sure. I write the book and then my editors and publicist argue over the title."

Sarah went into Tim's bedroom to get her dress and pull her hair up into a more presentable ponytail leaving Tim and Tony in the living room. "You let her take care of you." Tim said looking directly at Tony.

"What are you talking about?"

"This morning...you let her take care of you...you never let anyone take care of you."

"You heard all that?"

"Not all but you got quiet way faster than you normally do and I heard you talking..."

"I didn't know you ever heard me..." Tony said shrugging his shoulders. "I didn't really know I was making noise."

"Ready to go?" Sarah said bouncing out of the bedroom carrying her dress and picking up her heals but not putting them on ending the conversation abrubtly.

"The ground is freezing put on your shoes." Tim demanded.

"What? So I can slip and slide in heals and break my ankle? I would rather freeze."

Tony stood up and shoved his suit into his go bag along with his dress shoes, Sarah's dress and heals. "Climb on." Tony said with a smirk and picking her up piggyback style.

Sarah giggled her way out the door and held tight to his neck as Tony slid down to his car. After he set her in the passenger seat she turned and waved at Tim in the window. She could see him give her a cautious smile and wave before he stepped away from view.

"What errands do you have on a holiday weekend?" Sarah asked Tony after they were on the highway.

"I need to feet Kate and Ziva." Tony answered, the looking over and seeing Sarah's very confused face he laughed, "My fish."

"You named your fish after them..." A statement more than a question.

"I can still talk to them."

"Where are you really going?"

"I don't know...I really don't know."

"Would you tell me if you did know?"

"Pretty sure you would know before I had a chance to tell you."

"Thank you Tony."

"Call me if you need anything." Tony told her as she climbed out of the car barefoot. "Hurry and get inside before your toes freeze...pretty sure Tim would kill me if that happened."

"Talk to you soon Tony. Drive safe." She said before running into the house. She blew past her Mom and Penney who were sitting in the living room looking at old pictures and straight into her bedroom where she laid down on her bed. She blindly reached for her remote and turned on the last movie she had been watching-Princess Bride-and couldn't help but smile. She had forgotten that was the last movie she watched.

She pulled out her phone and texted Tony, 'We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.'

As he walked into his apartment and over to the fish bowl he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he smiled when he read the line from the movie they had just watched. 'Ziva and Kate say hi.' He replied, it was the middle of the day and he felt trapped in his empty apartment, he thought it would be easier at home, getting out...getting away...trying to forget the cemetery...being alone though...that just made it all worse.

He sent a quick text to Tim, 'You still have my flask.' He wanted his best friend to be here with him but it was stupid, he had just left an hour earlier. He knew that Tim was spending the day working on his novel. When he got a message back he smiled, 'I will bring it over with dinner. Apartment is too empty.' The two of them were more alike than they were different.

Tony tried to busy himself cleaning his apartment, which was ridiculous as he was never there to make it a mess. Every time he stopped moving he saw the cemetery...felt his father yelling at him...he saw Kate...felt her blood on his face...Ziva getting on the plane...it was too much. He quickly changed in to jogging pants and a hoody and set out in the freezing cold. The air burned as it hit his lungs but it helped. The air helped. Pain helped.

Sarah had fallen asleep as the movie played only to be awoken by her mother coming in a couple hours later and yelling at her for not coming home...apparently spending time with ones big brother after their father died was not an acceptable reason to not come home. She was only a term away from being done with graduate school and was being treated like an adolescent. Penney came in and gave her a Xanax or some other medication to knock her out and as she led her from the room Penney apologized...she was always trying to fix everything. She felt trapped. She had a billion missed calls and texts from her friends but she didn't care to talk to or see any of them. She wanted to be with people who understood what it was like to lose a parent... She locked her door and went into her bathroom and washed her tears down the drain as she washed her body.

By the time she got out it was dark outside, not that that said much as it was the dead of winter, but she had been in there for hours. She dressed in the oldest pair of jeans she could find in her bedroom and threw on a plane white tshirt before going back to lay on her bed. As her head hit the bed it landed on Tony's hoody, as she breathed in the scent she instantly relaxed. She grabbed her phone from her side table and texted him again, 'I need to get my own apartment again.'

Tony grimaced when he saw her text, he knew that she had moved home when they found out their dad had cancer, it was silly to have an apartment across town when she was able to help with everything, especially the last few weeks. 'Tim's coming over for dinner. You can come too.' He told her sending her his address and telling Tim that he had invited her over as well. When he put his phone back in his pocket he realized how far away he had run and turned around to head home.

When he emerged from his bedroom after showering he found Tim and Sarah sitting on the couch. He had his arm around her shoulder and Tony knew it was because she was crying. "Pizza is in the oven Tony." Tim said before he even had the chance to ask.

He went over to his movie collection and pulled out The Ultimate Gift and popped it in the DVD player. When he sat down on the couch he handed Sarah a blanket that she silently accepted and moved from leaning into her brother to leaning into Tony. He looked over to Tim who rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. Tony put his arm around her and pulled her onto his lap, "We have to stop meeting this way Darlin."

She started to sob at his words and he instinctively pulled her closer into his chest. "Tony...I don't...help her please." Tim whispered before he stood up and walked into the kitchen with tears sliding down his cheeks.

Tony wanted to stop him but knew the way to help him was to help his sister...he could always talk to Tim later. He leaned his face against her head and pulled her hair back forcing her to look at him. "I can't stay there...I...I am suppose to go back to work on Monday and that house makes me crazy...I cant be crazy and do my job..."

"So don't." Tony told her.

"How am I suppose to find a place the Saturday after Christmas?"

"Stay here till you find something...I am hardly here anyway."

She studied his face for a minute and when she realized he was serious with his offer she smiled, slid herself off Tony's lap and yelled to Tim, "Is the pizza done yet? I'm starved."

The two of them giggled when they heard the quick clattering and commotion in the kitchen and seeing Tim trying to balance the pizza in one hand and a stack of napkins in the other. "Happy to see I amuse you." Tim said after setting the pizza down on the coffee table.

Once they had all reached their slices Tony picked up the remote, "now then...are we ready to watch this movie? The acting is sub par but the story is a fantastic one and really helps to gain a healthy perspective on..."

"Just shut up and start the movie." Tim said, smiling at Tony and mouthing a quick thank you.

By the end of the movie all three of them had silent tears running down their cheeks, "I am picking the next movie." Sarah said quickly standing up and going to the collection. She tossed Tony the Iron Man Collection before heading down to the bathroom.

"You crashing here tonight Timmy?"

"No...I need to get back to my own...routine...before going back Monday I think."

"I told Sarah she can stay here...til she finds her own place...guess your family is making her crazy."

"Ugh...that is why she was upset? She wouldn't tell me."

"Treating her like a little kid..."

"She is seven years younger than me."

"Didn't mean you."

"Oh...do you have room for her here?"

"She can take Seniors room...not like he will be here to use it...will just have to clean it out a little bit first."

"You will let her in there and you make me take the couch?"

"It's a comfortable couch."

"Yeah but..."

"Did you bring my flask back?

"On the counter next to the fridge."

"You ready to watch some happy movies?" Sarah asked walking back in fresh faced.

"You think Iron Man is a happy movie?" Tony asked with a smirk.

"Well...he does get abducted and tortured and ends up with a serious case of PTSD but he also gets the girl so yes...it is a happy movie." She answered.

"Don't forget the sweet cars and suit...it also has quite a few biblical references mixed into the movie...as a matter of fact, most Marvel characters are loosely based on..."

"You are both insane...just start the movie Tony."

"You watch McGeek...when you see it you will understand." Tony hit play as Tim exaggerated his eye roll. Pay close attention to the names and lines within the movie.

"I can't hear the movie if you are still talking."

"It is important you know these things." Tony smirked.

"And why is that?"

"So you will get my jokes for once. It is your education."

"I got that at MIT."

"This is your real education."

"As opposed to my fake one?"

"Yes. Now pay attention...If Inhave to tell you one more time." Tony spoke in a gravely women's voicE and Sarah started cracking up.

"I don't think he has seen that one yet."

"Seen what?"

"See that is my point...you need your education...and that line was from Men in Black...it is J's elementary school teacher she was from one of the moons of Jupiter..."

"You are both insane."

"Just watch."


	4. Chapter 4

After watching all three Iron Man movies Tim got up to leave. "Tony can we talk for a minute before I go?" He asked.

Tony got up and walked down the hall to what was his fathers room, what was going to be Sarah's room until she could find a place. "What's up?"

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Tim asked sitting down on the full size bed.

While pulling open all the drawers and making sure everything was empty he paused and turned to look at his best friend. "She needs space and she can't get that at your parents house...you don't have a spare room at your apartment and starting Monday I will hardly be here."

"That is what I am worried about...she needs someone to watch out for her...when she starts crying...or freaks out again..."

"She isn't a little kid anymore Tim...I know that you are her big brother but she is almost thirty..."

"Why does she go to you when she is upset and not me?"

"She doesn't want to burden you with her pain when you already are having a hard time...you both just lost your dad...she knew how difficult your relationship was with him and she doesn't want to add to it."

"You think so?"

"Her first panic attack with all of this was because we took too long getting back from the cemetery...yes I am sure."

"How do you know what to say to her every time?"

"We have known each other for a few years now...long enough for me to know she reacts to stuff very similarly to how I do...I guess I just do what I wish someone did for me when my mom died."

"You were a little kid."

"And she was Daddy's little girl...you can stay here too...you do have a key you know."

"I just want to make sure she is taken care of."

"She is my little sister too."

"You consider her your sister?"

"Friend...sister...I dunno...I am an only child Timmy all I know is that I feel even more protective of her than I do you."

"I think it is a great idea then."

"It takes you too long to trust my genius plans...one day I will take over the world what do you say McPinky?"

"Pinky?"

"And the Brain."

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"Jesus McClueless how do you not know who Pinky and The Brain are?"

"What are you guys doing?" Sarah asked as she walked into the bedroom.

"I am wondering how in the world your brother doesn't know who Pinky and The Brain are...please tell me you do..."

"Oh that show was one of my favorites...it used to be on in the afternoons...Dad used to watch that one with me when I was little..." Sarah said as she recalled the memory.

"The two of you are ridiculous..."

"We are ridiculous? You are the one who doesn't know who they are!"

"I am leaving now. Call me if you need anything, see you Monday Tony."

After he left Tony got in the shower and Sarah relaxed in the bedroom. When he was getting ready to go to bed for the night Sarah called to him. He went into the room and leaned against the dresser, "Everything okay?" She asked him.

"I was going to ask you the same question."

"The last couple nights..."

"Have been the same as all the others...I am fine."

"If I hear you tonight I am going to go into your room..." Tony only nodded, he didn't trust his voice, no one had ever really tried to take care of him...at least not like she was. "Is that okay? If you don't want me to..."

"I am suppose to be taking care of you."

"Two way street Dinozzo. You letting me take care of you when you need it helps me too..."

"We can go tomorrow to get all your stuff and bring it over...Starting Monday we go back and it is going to be pretty crazy...I am usually only home to sleep."

"You need some time for you too...don't you have a girlfriend or something?"

"Don't you think you would have seen me on my phone or with a girl if I had one?"

"Tim always said you were private about that stuff..."

"There hasn't been anyone since Ziva."

"You used to date all the time."

"People change."

"I want you happy Tony."

"I could say the same to you."

"I wish Tim would marry Abby. I liked her."

"Maybe someday Sarah...maybe some day."

Sarah and Tony both fell asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows, at four though Sarah woke up from a dream about a whining puppy...only to realize it was Tony. She got out of bed and quickly crossed the hall where she found him thrashing around in his blankets. She crawled onto his bed and pulled his back into her and he instantly calmed down without even waking up.

When he woke up at nine he felt an arm around his waist and he inwardly groaned, he knew he had woken her up but wondered why she didn't wake him up...he knew he had the dream reliving being pulled off his dead mother...he remembered that vividly...this time though he didn't have the part with his father yelling at him at the funeral.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax so that she would stay asleep and get the rest that she needed but he felt her tighten her hold on his and felt her breath get warmer on his back. "You didn't have to stay in here all night." Tony whispered...he knew his twin size bed was made for one.

"I wanted to make sure you stayed asleep."

"It is nice waking up not freaking out."

"Have you always had night terrors?"

"Nope."

"When did they start again this time?"

"After Ziva left."

"Always the same?"

"Two different ones..."

"Your Mom and Ziva?"

"Kate."

"Have you ever talked to someone about them?"

"Not since I was a kid."

"Did it help?"

"No...but they eventually stopped...started again after Kate...then went away...but since Ziva left they have been worse than ever."

"I started having them when I found out Dad was sick...that is why I moved back home."

"Since he died have you had them?" He asked rolling onto his backend looking over at her.

"Dreams where everyone I care about dying in horrible ways...yes...its been pretty freaking awesome."

"Have you talked to anyone for them?"

"Just you."

"Does Tim know?"

"No...when did he find out about yours?"

"I guess after she left...when I started staying over there but he didn't say anything til the other night..."

"You ready to move me into your apartment? I don't want to invade..."

"Really?" Tony smirked to her as she propped herself up on her elbow still laying in his twin sized bed.

"You know what I meant." She said sitting up.

The two of them loaded up all her stuff into both of their cars and after dumping it all in the bedroom decided to go for a jog. Which in turn turned into a race. Which led to two exhausted people three hours later. After they both showered, ordered a pizza, ate the pizza and were sitting down flipping channels Sarah curled into Tony's side on the couch.

"You okay Kid?" Tony asked as he settled on reruns of Bewitched.

"I am not ready to go back to work tomorrow I don't think."

"Will be good to go back to something normal won't it?"

"I guess...I haven't talked to any of my friends or coworkers since I told them Dad died..." Tony waited for her to continue, after his mom died he didn't speak for weeks...after Kate he only spoke when someone was talking to him...he remembered how difficult it was for his brain to even formulate sentences. "I hate it when people see me upset."

"It feels better when you let people in." He told her...it did feel better, but it was hard and he didn't make it practice.

"Then why don't you?"

"I do." He lied.

"Who?"

"You...Tim, Gibbs, Ducky, Abby...Ziva." He told her...sure he had talked to them about Kate and Ziva...he was the one supporting them though, not the other way around.

"Who on that list knows about what you dream about?"

"You...Ziva..."

"How did Ziva find out?"

"We worked undercover..."

"So not on purpose?"

"It isn't exactly easy to talk about."

"You can always come to me."

"And you can always come to me."

"Why are we so weird?"

"Are we? I didn't notice."

"What time do you leave for work?"

"By six...usually earlier...I usually just get up when I can't sleep anymore but as long as I'm there by eight..."

"When was the last time you got there after six?" Tony thought about it but didn't answer. "How often do you just spend the night there?" Again the silence. "I've never had anything like this before. Will everyone treat me like I am going to break?"

"Your line of work...I doubt it...my guess is they will ignore it and just go on like normal."

"What if I need to freak out a little bit?"

"Take a bathroom break or something."

"What? So everyone thinks I have digestive issues or something..."

"You will be fine Sarah."

"How can you be so sure."

"Because you are you...and you are a McGee."

"And that means something?"

"Yup."

"I sure hope you are right." Sarah answered as she stood up and headed down the hall to the bedroom. "Will you sleep with your door open?"

"Yes." Tony assured her as he followed her down the hall and into his own room.

They both fell asleep quickly, but Tony woke just as quickly when he heard Sarah crying across the hall. He got up and went into her room collapsing onto the bed with his arm across her back.

She rolled over and snuggled into him, holding his arm like a child holds a security blanket. They both woke up at six forty-five when her alarm went off, realizing what time it was Tony jumped out of bed without saying anything and ran around like a crazy person getting ready for work...he arrived at the office a quarter to eight.

"Have a little too much fun this weekend Dinozzo?" Gibbs smirked as he slid past his desk and into his chair, looking over at McGee who looked like he might have a panic attack.

"We got a case Boss?" Tony asked trying to change the subject. It worked and Gibbs spouted off new info and they set off. Gibbs kept Tony partnered with him the entire day while the other two worked leads from the office.

It wasn't until the very end of the day that Gibbs finally asked how everything was going. "Sarah moved in with me..." Tony mumbled.

"You and McGee's sister?" Gibbs asked as he slammed on his breaks sliding to the side of the road.

"Not like that Boss."

"Please enlighten me then because McGee was freaking out all morning...got in at six..."

"She needed space."

"And?"

"I told her she could take Seniors room."

"That's it?"

"She has been having a hard time and I...I get it..."

"She's taking care of you too." Gibbs realized. When Tony just looked at him he continued, "You woke her up that first night when you both stayed at Tim's."

"You spyin on us now Gibbs?"

"Don't need to."

"I like having someone there."

"Don't fall in love with her."

"She is like my Little Sister." Tony huffed.

"Good answer." Gibbs said pulling back into traffic.

A little after six Tony felt his phone buzz in his pocket, 'Pizza in the fridge. Headed to the gym with friends. Thanks for last night.'

By the time Gibbs let them go for the night it was after nine. "You would tell me if there was anything going on right?" McGee asked as they walked out to their cars.

"She was headed to the gym with her friends...and nothing is going on." Bishop looked very confused at the conversation.

"You are both okay then?"

"Yes...I plan on going home and having a slice of pizza and crashing...is that okay with you?"

"I just want to make sure you are both..."

"I love you too Timmy." Tony told him as he threw his arm around his shoulder.

"I leave for a couple days for holiday and come back to this? You guys are so weird sometimes."

"The Admiral died...Tony was... He has been great." Tim told her.

"I didn't know..."

"It's fine Bishop. It is my sister that I am worried about...she was a lot closer to him than I was..."

Tony could hear his voice waver, "Tim's just worried because Sarah moved in with me and now he isn't the center of my attention anymore." He told her as he gave Tim a quick squeeze before letting his arm fall back to his side.

"Tony you know that is not what this is about..."

"McGee are you jealous of Tony's new girlfriend? And how long have you been dating her to have her move in with you already?"

At the sight of Tim's face Tony started to laugh hysterically, "She isn't my girlfriend Bishop, Sarah is Tim's baby sister."

"Oh...oh God! Now I get it..I am a little slow today...See you guys tomorrow." She said as she climbed into her car.

"No worries...now Timmy you do have a key to my apartment if you decide to come over...couch is yours...I don't share my bed with just anyone." Tony said wiggling his eyebrows.

"I think I am just going home to write." Tim told him.

"You doing okay Probie?" Tony stopped and asked him.

"I'm getting there...writing helps."

"If you need anything Tim..."

"Take care of Sarah."

"I'm on it."

"Thanks Tony." He said as he shut the door to his car. Tony patted the roof twice and climbed into his own. He found the apartment empty when he walked in but it didn't surprise him. He grabbed a slice of pizza and then hopped in the shower. When he was done he threw on a pair of sweats and collapsed onto his bed.

He woke up a little after two to Sarah crawling into bed with him. He rolled over to face her and sleepily asked, "Good day today?"

"MmmHmm...just long...sick of people asking if I am okay."

"Won't ask then...too tired." Tony mumbled closing his eyes again.

"Keep me safe tonight?" She asked as she snuggled into him.

"Always." He whispered as he put his arm protectively over her.

When he woke up in the morning he looked over and saw her head sharing his pillow, streaked makeup down her cheeks a sure sign she had been crying before she crawled in with him. He quickly pulled out his phone and text Gibbs, 'Will be late today. Tell Tim not to freak out.'

When he got the one letter text, 'K' he shut his phone off and pulled Sarah tight against him, slowly waking her up. "Why didn't you wake me up last night?" He asked her.

"Didn't want to talk anymore...I hate talking..."

"Sarah...when I wake up to see you have obviously been crying..."

"I am fine Tony." She whispered, but he could already feel her tears on his skin.

"It is okay to not be okay."

"Not when it is your job to listen to people talk about their own issues all day and you can't stop thinking about death...I thought going to the gym last night with the girls would be okay but they just...we didn't even ever make it out of the locker room."

"Did you already take the morning off?"

"Working from home this week."

"You took the whole week off?"

"You do see me right now don't you?"

"Sitting at home doesn't seem like the best idea."

"I am waiting for a better suggestion." Sarah said sitting up and crossing her arms.

"Go shower...get ready, we are going out."

She gave him a sideways look but slowly got up and went in to get ready. He got up and put jeans and a tee on and went out and made some pancakes. "What am I supposed to wear?" He heard from down the hall.

"Something comfy." He responded. She came out five minutes later wearing her favorite pair of jeans and Tony's hoody.

"I take it I'm not getting that back anytime soon." He said as he handed her a plate of pancakes.

"Where are we going?"

"To work."

First he took her to the shooting range, then down to hang out with Abby, he took her to his favorite food stand at the park and finally up to the bullpen. While Gibbs knew what they had been doing, Tim and Bishop had no idea they were even in the building. "You can work from here today. We have to go interview a few people but won't be too long." Tony told her pointing her to his desk. "Come on Probie, we are late." He said to a dumbstruck Tim.

When they got into the car Tim stared at him for a few minutes before stating, "Why isn't she at work? Have you been here all day? Is she okay? Why didn't you tell me what was going on...obviously Gibbs knew."

"Calm down...breathe...she is working...just with us for the day...we got in at 830. She will be fine, but you already know that. And you know I don't do anything without Gibbs knowing. She thinks you should marry Abby by the way." Tony said trying to change the subjet.

"Marry Abby? Why is she working here today...she has her own office."

"Why not marry Abby? And she had no clients today and was too side tracked at work yesterday so she may as well work at the office today where people will leave her alone."

"And so you can keep an eye on her...and we aren't going to get married. Why do you need to keep an eye on her?"

"I just do, and you liked the coffin...don't even try to lie."

"I didn't know it was a coffin."

"You still liked it...say it McVampire you like coffin se..."

"Just drive Tony."

"You liked it."

"Drive!"


	5. Chapter 5

_**Please leave me your thoughts! Pretty please?**_

* * *

><p>Sarah spent the rest of the week working at Tony's desk, they worked out together at the NCIS gym and ate the majority of their meals together. No one questioned their relationship by the end of the week, it was obviously that of a sibling bond. Tim had relaxed seeing everyday that his sister was going to be okay and he was thankful to Tony for helping her get that way.<p>

Tony had spent most of the first Monday of the New Year checking his phone, texting or excusing himself to take phone calls from Sarah. Tuesday those checks were slightly less frequent and Wednesday they were nearly nonexistent. Things fell back into routine at home and at the office.

When Tim came into the bullpen Thursday morning to find Bishop and Tony already there and totally up to something it did not surprise him. In fact it made him smile, even knowing that whatever they were up to was at his expense. He feigned being upset at his New Years resolutions being shared when in all actuality he had typed them up while he was at dinner at Tony's with him and Sarah.

Tony knew the true resolutions and knew the silly ones that had been added by himself and by Sarah...the cat videos were a classic Sarah. Bishop was blissfully unaware of the closeness of her two partners...she was too busy with her husband to spend much time with them outside of work. Tim knew that this sharing of the resolutions was his way to try and make her feel like she belonged...he knew though that it would take years for Tony, or himself to fully trust any new team member.

In their hearts the spot still belonged to Ziva, or Kate. Neither of whom could ever really be replaced. Tim had guessed that Tony had been dating Zoe for weeks...it was her he was with when they were called in to work the hacker case...who else would go on a date to a gun range? He knew that Tony told her about his Dad and that he would be MIA for a few days...since then he hadn't heard anything about her though.

* * *

><p>Tim knew that he had been spending a lot of time with Sarah after work, mostly watching movies but also talking about what kept them both up at night. The two nights that Tim stayed over there after she had moved in with him he knew that they both slept with their doors open and when one woke up in a panic the other would go spend the rest of the night in the other room. Neither spoke of it in the morning and he wondered if they even realized that he knew.<p>

He felt guilty because he couldn't help either of them...he was her big brother and his best friend and he was basically useless. It amazed him how quickly they could go from a complete panic to sleeping. No words were ever exchanged, at least at a vollume he could hear down the hall. Both times he got up a few minutes later and stuck his head in only to find them both asleep.

He had his moments where he had to stop and compose himself, but of course Tony was there nearly every time to distract him or comfort him...hell he even came up with some crazy story about random evidence and took him into the elevator and flipped the switch when he really lost it. Tony sunk down onto the floor of the elevator next to Tim as he cried, of course the mention of Mike Franks death reminded him of his own father.

The case was complicated enough with two of Gibbs ex-wives in town...and him not having any coffee... Tony was pulling double duty plus some. "Will it always sneak up on me Tony?"

"You learn a few tricks along the way to make it easier...but yeah...a smell, a voice, a movie, a song, random words or phrases..."

"I hate not being in control...I am fine most of the time...like really fine...to the point I feel guilty about not being upset...and then to see Gibbs...he rarely shows emotion Tony..."

"You can't control how you feel. Just gotta learn to live with it." They sat in the elevator for a few more minutes until Tim was ready and then they went back into the bullpen.

As the case crawled on Tim spent some time with Diane while Tony was digging through the victims backgrounds. When it came time to watch Gibbs interagate Rebecca everyone crowded around to watch...it was like their own movie screening into Gibbs private life.

When they went out to the RV Tony rode with Gibbs and stuck Tim and Bishop together. Tony thought he would have a chance to ask Gibbs about his wives but was surprised when the tables were turned. "You in love with her Dinozzo?"

"Who Boss?"

"Keates."

"How do you..."

"Yes or no?"

"Headed that direction...why?"

"You and Ziva..."

"Yeah...that..."

"Don't make the same mistakes I have."

"Boss?"

"Don't fall in love if you are already in love."

"I don't want to jinx this..."

The rest of the car ride was in silence. As soon as Gibbs saw the contents of the trailer he knew he whole team was in danger...when he got the phone call he sprung into action. He ordered Tony to get Rebecca and bring them in and told Tim and Bishop to finish the RV and have it towed to the lab before taking off like a bat out of hell to go meet Diane.

It took him too long to realize that Diane was in danger...he couldn't get her out of harms way. As he laid her down on the rooftop he took one last look and ran down the stars to try and catch the bastard. After the SUV took off he walked slowly back up to the roof and called Ducky. "Diane is Kate...dont let Tony or Tim see her." Was all he managed to say other than giving the address.

Tony was just walking in with Rebecca as Ducky was loading the truck. When he saw the grim look on the medical examiners face Tony stopped and leaned against the truck. "Who Duck?" He asked him, barely holding his lunch.

"Diane my Dear Anthony...Jethro...it was just like Kate."

Tony immediately turned around and jumped back in his car and sped towards the garage to find Gibbs. He marched up the stairs and pushed his way past the local PD and over to his Boss, and friend and put his hand on his shoulder. He tried to avoid looking at Diane already knowing what he would see. "I told him not to let you see." Gibbs mumbled.

"I don't take orders from Him."

"I should have seen it coming."

"Where did it come from?"

Gibbs pointed at the roof across from where he sat. "I need you to tell McGee...him and Diane..."

"On it Boss. What about Fornell?"

"I need to be the one."

"You sure?"

"No Dinozzo I am not sure! I am not sure of anything!" He yelled as he jumped up.

Tony moved quickly and squared his shoulders and gripped his friends shoulders. "We need to focus. We cannot lose anyone else. Are you able to keep working this?" Tony asked him gently.

"You take Lead on this." Gibbs told him as Ducky walked up behind them.

"Duck I need you to take her back, do not release her name...call her Jane Doe if you have to until Gibbs talks to Fornell." Tony instructed. "Palmer I want you to drive Gibbs car back. He will ride with Duck." When the two of them nodded and started to work Tony pulled out his phone.

"Bishop, when you finish the RV send Tim to work with Abby. Now I need to tell you something but you cannot say anything to Tim. Got it?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Got it or not?"

"I got it."

"Diane is dead. Sniper got her, just like with Kate. Gibbs is going to ride back with Duck. He is...well...he is Gibbs. Do not say anything if someone doesn't ask first. If you find anything you report directly to me. We are leaving Gibbs out of this one."

"Of course." Bishop answered, quickly sombered.

"Make sure Tim goes to Abby. I am going to take the snipers nest myself. You find anything you call me." Tony told her.

"I will."

"Good...now, give Tim his space...him and Diane...just don't ask."

"Were they?"

"Not like that...there is history though...now hand McGee the phone."

"What's up?" Tim asked as he was handed the phone.

"Diane was killed." Tony told him, he hated to do it over the phone but there was no time...Tony heard him gasp and waiting for a response. "Tim we need to focus on this one."

"It was like Kate wasn't it?"

"The same. I am taking the snipers nest...you need to go tell Abby then do whatever computer wizard stuff to catch this Bastard."

"You sound like him."

"You able to do this one Tim?"

"Yeah Boss." He answered.

"You're starting to sound like me Probie."

"Tony...stay safe."

"You too...I will be there as soon as I can. Make sure Abs finds out from you."

Gibbs nodded to Tony when he hung up the phone. Tony studied his Boss for a minute before pulling him into a tight hug. He heard Gibbs catch his breath, "We've got your six. Take care of Fornell and Emily. I've got you covered."

"Never questioned that Tony." Gibbs whispered. Tony released the hug and nodded. "Find the bastard Dinozzo."

The team worked the case, Abby hugging each of them every chance she got. When they found the address of Sergies headquarters it was a race to get there. When Tony got there he found an unconscious Gibbs. When Tim and Bishop got there they found Tony crouched down over Gibbs.

Once again Tony took control, barking orders. He took Gibbs back as Tim and Bishop gathered the evidence. It was one of there longest case, none of them went home, each taking turns napping down in Abby's lab, Tony was the only one who did not sleep. He stayed watch over each of his team.

By the time they went home Tony had gone nearly forty-eight hours with zero sleep. He walked past Sarah and went straight into his room and collapsed on his bed. Less than an hour later she heard him moaning Kate's name in his sleep. She ran into his room as he sprang up screaming.

She ran to him and wrapped her body around his and pulled him into her. He broke down and sobbed into her shoulder. He cried for Kate, for his Mother, for Ziva, for Mike, Jenny, Diane...all of those that he had loved and lost. All of the tears he never let fall came rushing out as his cries racked his body. Sarah held him and rocked him in her arms.

As he began to succumb to his exhaustion she laid him down and with his head on her chest he fell asleep. She pulled out her phone and text her brother. 'I don't know what the hell case you have been working on but I have never seen Tony this upset...please tell me that you and everyone else is okay.'

A minute later she received a reply, 'Diane was murdered...same way as Kate. I am on my way over.'

'He is sleeping. Use your key.'

When Tim walked in he turned the tv off and continued down the hall to find them. He stuck his head into Tony's room and found him half laying on his sister. "You okay?"

"Shhh...don't wake him up." She whispered.

"He took care of all of us."

"I think this is what he needed."

"Are you doing okay?" Tim asked his little sister.

"Getting there." She said as she goosed her fingers along Tony's arm that was wrapped around her waist.

"You okay to stay with him tonight?"

"Not the first time."

"He needs you."

"We all need each other."

"I'll be on the couch if you need anything."

"Use my bed Tim...I'm not going to be using it." He nodded and swung the door halfway on his way out.

"Thank you." Tony mumbled sleepily.

"Sweet dreams." She whispered as she leaned her cheek against his head and closed her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thoughts, suggestions and ideas are appriciated. This is a long one for you...I couldn't find a good place to split off so kind of a weird ending but it will be continued shortly...sooner if I get more feedback ㈴1**_

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><p>As Tony and Sarah spent their nights at the apartment she encouraged him to reach out to other friends...only to find out he had very few. She was not too surprised as he had told her that he rarely allowed people to get close to him. He did start to call his old partner Zoe more, even inviting her over for movie nights. He never had her over if he knew Tim or Gibbs might stop by though.<p>

As the days went on Sarah saw the twinkle return to his eyes and despite his overall happiness he was still quite secretive with his relationship. Zoe never spent the night and he was always home to sleep in his own bed. The nightmares slowly stopped but she could still hear him at night talking to the fish, gazing at the old photographs that he kept in his dresser drawer and holding the necklace in his hand each morning.

Tony was always the first to ask her how she was doing, and as the days passed her hopeful fine was turning into a realistic fine. Neither of them ever mentioned her moving out, they both enjoyed each other's company and both needed to have someone else to come home to. Each week they met to do there therapy sessions, back to back appointments held them accountable to each other.

Sarah was surprised to get a text demanding that she meet him at a pub near their apartment...she knew he had plans with Zoe that night but she went, no questions asked as usual. When she got there she saw Tony, with Zoe sitting at a table in the corner...with them were Tim, Ellie and Abby.

"Guess the cat is out of the bag." She smiled as she sat down nex to Tony.

"You knew?" Tim exclaimed.

"Hey Sarah." Zoe said at the same time, ignoring Tim.

Sarah just shrugged her shoulders and turned to everyone else, "So what's everyone getting? The turkey clubs here are famous."

"Is that what you got last week?" Zoe asked her, "If it was it looked amazing."

"Everytime, I am kind of a creature of habit." Sarah told her.

"Wait...so you guys...Tony will take you on a date with him but he won't tell us when he is even dating someone?" Bishop questioned.

Sarah and Zoe exchanged a look across Tony and both put a hand on him, "Sarah and I have been having lunch together quite frequently." Zoe answered. It was true, they met at first to support Tony but had quickly become friends.

"After Diane was killed...things changed...we live together so we don't have secrets...kind of hard to hide something from someone you can't escape from." Sarah said... She sensed how uncomfortable Tony was having all the attention on him. "Let's order shall we?"

They all ate in relative silence, Sarah Zoe and Bishop were the only ones who even spoke. Tim looked like he was going to burst into tears or start screaming and Tony was just completely uncomfortable with the whole situation...which was why he never said anything before.

"Spider, you need to talk to Tim...really talk to him." Zoe whispered to him. "Makeup check Ladies?"

Once it was just the two at the table Tony looked at Tim for the first time. "Spit it out McGee."

"How could you not tell me?"

"Because I would have had to tell you things that I am still not ready to talk about."

"But you can tell Sarah?"

"You were there Tim...you saw me...I know you did, after Diane...I kept feeling her blood on my face...seeing her drop to the ground...the look in Gibbs eyes...it was the same..."

"What does that have to do with you having a girlfriend?"

"Sarah took me to see a shrink...the two of them...did you know the only phone numbers I have in my phone other than coworkers are Sarah, Brad and Zoe?"

"No...I assumed..."

"You assumed what I make everyone think...in reality though...if I am not at work I am usually home sleeping...since Ziva left...I didn't know who I was outside of work or movies...Something about abandonment issues..."

"Why couldn't you talk to me?"

"The only reason Zoe knew was because I called Sarah from Kate's grave...she was able to get there fastest..." Tony admitted.

"I wish you would have just told me...I...you seemed fine." Tim said defeated.

"Why do you think I am so good at undercover work Timmy."

"I just...I would have been there..."

"I know."

"You feel like you were abandoned?"

"Do you really want to go into that now?... Here?"

"I guess not...it's just that...

"Come back to the apartment tonight...I will try and explain...but I need to say that I still suck at this...like really bad...shrink said I only know how to do emotions I learned from movies." He said partially regretting it before it was even out of his mouth. He knew he was not ready to talk...but he had to...for Tim.

"Wow that explains so much..."

"Thanks Probie." Tony said rolling his eyes as the gals walked back over.

"No...it just explains why you have seen all the movies ever made."

"It is how I cope." Tony said shrugging his shoulders. "I am ready to head home...it's been a long week."

"Today is Wednesday." Bishop reminded him.

"And tomorrow is Thursday." Sarah said winking at Tony.

"Spider I am going to head out with Bishop. I will talk to you later." Zoe told him with a kiss.

As they walked out to their cars Bishop asked, "Are they okay? Like really okay?"

"They are a family."

"Tony let you in."

"Honey I was in before he moved to NCIS...we used to be partners."

"You don't really act like you are dating."

"We do what we do..."

"What is your favorite date activity?"

"Shooting range...he has great aim."

"He was out with you when we got called in for that cyber case?"

"Yup. Didn't even get the chance to reload..." Zoe told her as she opened her car door.

"Well, I hope things work out for you guys...Tony deserves to be happy."

"Have a good night Ellie. And don't worry...Tony said it took years for them to let Ziva in after Kate was killed...this job...it is hard to let people in."

"I guess I am a little impatient sometimes." She said before saying goodbye.

Meanwhile inside Tony wandered off to pay the tab. "Don't push him Tim...don't let him shut off again and do not push him to get emotional..." Sarah pleaded.

"What happened Sarah? Should he be working?"

"He is allowing himself to grieve for his mom, for Kate...for Ziva leaving...for his dad being...well his dad."

"He is seeing a counselor?"

"We both are...we schedule our appointments together."

"Why didn't you guys say anything?" Tim asked his sister.

"Everything just kinda happened...It isn't my place to talk about him and he doesn't about me..."

"Ready to go McGees?" Tony asked walking back over, seemingly much more relaxed.

When they got back to the apartment Sarah sat next to Tony with her legs over his, her back to Tim, and Tim sat on the other end. "Well this is awkward." Tony mumbled.

"Remember what they said..." Sarah urged. Tim saw Tony grab her hand and she wrapped hers around his. If he hadn't just seen him with Zoe then he would think the two of them were...but they weren't...at least not like he was thinking.

"What do you want to know?" Tony asked almost in monotone...very unlike his normal character and only looking at Sarah.

"You weren't close to Diane at all...but her getting killed...I have never seen you like that before."

"That wasn't a question." He smirked looking quickly up at Tim.

"Why did Diane's murder affect you so much?"

"Everything was the same...the look on Gibbs face...the blood on his face...the roof of the garage...PTSD or something the shrink said...I flashed to when Kate was shot by Ari...I had her blood on my face...I couldn't wash it off...it was all I had left of her..." Tony rambled, rubbing the side of his face with his free hand.

"Did you say anything to Gibbs?"

"He knew...but he was even worse than me...he blames himself for both of them."

"You were able to keep working though...we didn't know anything was wrong."

"You did though Tim...you saw me that night...I know Sarah called you and you came over here..."

"But you were fine in the morning."

"I am always fine at work Tim...I can be a character there...I dont even really know how to explain it...I am able to act how people think I should act...but when I come back here...here I can...here I don't have to..."

Tim watched as his image of the nearly indestructible Senior Agent was broken down. He had seen glimpses over the years of a side of Tony that was more relaxed, less work Tony and more what he thought was Tony Tony...but was that all an act too? "So who are you?"

"Tim!" Sarah glared at her older brother.

"It's okay." Tony assured her, "It is a valid question. When I am in character that is still me...I dont lie...I just dont always express things that I am thinking or feeling if they are not...correct."

"So at the funeral..."

"Tim believe me when I tell you that you have seen more of me than anyone else."

"You always take care of everyone else...how are you so good at that when..."

"Isn't that your answer? I do what I wish people would have done for me..."

"But since Christmas...you have been..."

"A mess?"

"I wasn't going to use those words."

"Watching you...seeing the hurt...your pain...I never let myself feel that way...not for my mom, not for any of our friends...I guess I just kinda hit the max."

"You went to Kate's grave..."

"For hours..."

"Freaked the hell outta me...he was suppose to meet me for lunch and never showed...I called him like fifty times before he finally answered...only he didn't say anything.."

"I couldn't say anything."

"I just heard crying in the phone...it took another half hour for him to tell me where he was...I was clear across town but I remembered that Zoe worked a few blocks from there...I didn't hang up until I got there...even though I knew Zoe was with him...he wasn't talking to her...just sitting there...frozen...with tears running down his cheeks.

"I didn't even realize it was Zoe that came...I didn't really recall any of that...just remember Sarah climbing into my lap and pulling my arms around her. Then I heard Zoe talking...she was sitting next to me and had her arms around me. I don't know how long we sat there like that...they helped me to get into Sarah's car and Zoe drove my car back here. They carried me in and brought me into Sarah's room and the three of us..."

"We held Tony until he fell asleep...Then we came out to the living room and I told her the abridged version of everything that had happened...she told me about the Tony that she knew years ago...Tony got up and came out a couple hours later and sat down next to me on the couch...well he curled up and put his head on my lap...Zoe pulled his legs up across hers and squeezed just above his knee..."

"She had remember that was the one spot that tickled..." Tony said with a small smile, "Then she asked if we should order pizza."

"A woman of your own heart." Tim smiled at him.

"She...she is patient with me..."

"The three of us have spent quite a bit of time together...her and I have spent time together and her and Tony have spent time together..."

"We haven't dated...not like with anyone I have dated in the past at least."

"You still dont know how you feel about her...that is why you didn't want to tell the world." Tim guessed.

"Kind of...I know how I feel about her...I just dont know if I am about to get past how I feel about..."

"Oh..."

"Yeah...I just don't know how to do anything really other than work..."

"And when all the murders...for Gibbs...everything crossed over...I get that...I just don't know why you didn't say anything to me...we are together ALL the time."

"At work...we are together at work all the time Tim...and lately when you have been coming over...this isn't easy for me to talk about."

"Going forward...can you tell me when you are having a bad day...or struggling about anything...?"

"I can try."

"I don't even care if you dont tell me why...you are my best friend and my partner and..."

"I love you too Timmy." Tony sarcastically replied.

Tony leaned his shoulder against Sarah's shoulder and took a long deep breath. He was exhausted. "Tim are you going to stay here tonight?" Sarah asked her brother as she squeezed Tony's hand.

"Nah...I should head home." Tim said without moving.

"Take my bed tonight." Tony whispered. Truth be told he wanted Tim there. He felt more relaxed when he knew everyone he cared about were safe...even if having everyone together was stressful.

Tim looked at him, then at his sister who silently nodded her head to him and he nodded back. "We all need to get some sleep." Sarah told them standing up and leading Tony down the hall. Tim watched amazed and questioned how many times this had happened...they went into the bathroom together and he could hear them both brushing their teeth. He said a silent prayer before getting up and walking into Tony's room. Seeing his role model, his best friend, his partner, his brother this...vulnerable was something he never thought he would see.

Even when he was in the hospital with the plague he wasn't vulnerable. "Tim...leave the door open?" Tony asked him breaking him away from his thoughts.

"You got it Tony."

Tim sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as his sister led him into her room and pulled his shirt, shoes and socks off him. She grabbed a pair of sweats for herself and went into the bathroom to change, while she was in there he slid his pants off and climbed under the blankets. Tim could see him start to shake from his vantage point in the other room and he got up and went into the bedroom and sat down next to Tony. Who was now rocking himself back and forth. He sat down at the head of the bed and put his hand on Tony's back. Tony rolled over and slid his head from the pillow to Tim's leg.

Tim felt the tears soak through his pants and felt the tears sliding down his own face. He could see his chest move as he hyperventilated. Sarah paused at the door when she saw her brother sitting in her spot on the bed. She flipped the switch on the overhead light so the room was only lit by the light that was still on in Tony's bedroom. She made her way to the bed and slid under the blanket bear hugging Tony. "Feel like I'm drowning..." Tony choked out.

Tim wasn't sure what to do to help him and looked to Sarah, she gave him a sad smile and pulled Tony over so his head was in her chest and his arm wrapped tight around her, "Breathe with me...deep breath...there you go...just breathe with me." She whispered to him as she ran her fingers through his short hair.

A few minutes later his breathing returned to normal and he loosened his hold on Sarah and rolled onto his back. Tim stared at him for several minutes, in shock of what he had just witnessed. "Sorry you had to see that...it's just..."

"Please don't be sorry..." Tim whispered in a shaken tone.

"Since Tony and I have been going to therapy there is some stuff that has come up that he has been holding in since he was a kid...before his Mother died even, and as he talks about it more and more memories resurface and some of them...or too much at once it will trigger panic attacks." Sarah explained, protectively pulling Tony back over to her.

"Whatever I can do to help...I want..." Tim started, a little less shaky and a little more assertive.

"I know you've got my six Probie." Tony said reaching over and squeezing Tim's leg. "This stuff is just hard to deal with...I didn't even know I had stuff I needed to deal with...at least not like this...it's pretty heavy." Tony yawned and closed his eyes, his hand still on Tims leg.

"When he was little he was raised mostly by nannies...his mom would take him to movies, and plays and stuff like that but she didn't have much contact other than that...she was an alcoholic and his dad...his dad didn't help matters." Sarah tried to explain more without exposing too much. Tim noticed how protective his sister became as she told him and noticed how quickly Tony relaxed as she held him. "It was rare that he was ever alone with either of his parents and any form of affection was strictly for show. Tony never knew what it was like to be held or rocked or snuggled as a child. So in that sense he is very much still that little boy."

Tony was now snoring his head lollling on her shoulder, balancing ever so gently with his face millimeters from her cheek, legs stretched straight out, his left hand resting on his chest, his right still on Tim. "Everything he does know is what he learned from the movies or television shows he watched. After his mom died his dad fired all his nannies and sent him to boarding school...during school breaks he would fly to wherever his father was...often ignored and left alone in hotel rooms to fend for himself."

"He did say he was left in a hotel for a week before anyone realized..."

"When he saw how we were after dad died...and then Diane getting killed...it brought up all of the emotions he was never allowed to express. Then in the counseling sessions...with Rachel...everything has just waterfalled."

"Rachel? As in Rachel Cranston?"

"Yeah...why?"

"She is Kate's sister..."

"Yes? Tony told me she worked with you guys a couple years ago so he wouldn't have to go into as much detail with her because she would already know."

"It isn't a conflict of interest?"

"Gibbs thought it would be a good idea."

"You see her too?"

"Yes...our appointments are booked back to back so he gets there right when I get done and then we leave together."

"You wait for him to finish?"

"I usually drive home after...he is always pretty dazed...quiet for sure...he replays everything two or three times before he is able to tell me what they talked about."

"He tells you?"

"Duh Tim, how else would I have been able to tell you what I have?"

"I hate seeing him like this?"

"You hate seeing him sleep?" Sarah sarcastically responded. "We will all be fine."

"Is it like this every night?"

"Usually just therapy nights...he usually remembers things from dreams."

"He didn't have therapy today."

"Nope. We go on Thursdays."

"So why is he...?"

"Telling you everything was even harder than him talking to Rachel."

"I wish it wasn't." Tim said gently squeezing his hand around Tony's wrist.

"It is what it is...that is what you always used to tell me."

"You have turned out to be an amazing woman Sarah McGee."

"Family sticks together." Sarah smiled, barely feeling Tonys breathing change and his head holding its own weight.

"Tony is the one who taught me that...and now to find out how he grew up..." Tim said, not knowing Tony was listening.

Sarah felt his silent tears soak into her shirt and she rolled gently so she was facing Tony, cradling him against her chest and rubbing his bare back, he slid his arm from Tims leg and wrapped it around her without opening his eyes, "He is the most loyal, loving, person I have ever had the chance to know." She said more to Tony than to Tim.

"If you need me just call." Tim said as he moved to get up.

"Get some sleep...you guys are on call this weekend. You both need your rest." Sarah told her brother as he walked out of one bedroom and into the other. After seeing him flip off the light and heard the blankets shuffle she scooted herself down so she was eye level to Tony.

The streetlight outside reflected on his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair and along his cheeks, coming to rest cupping his face in her hands, "Sleep now Ant, I will still be here in the morning." She whispered, using his pet name before kissing his forehead.

"Will you write on my back?" He breathed. When she nodded he rolled over and she snuggled into his back.

With one hand playing with his hair she used her other to draw shapes and doodles on his shoulder. When his breathing slowed she slid her arm in through his and he held it tight to his chest. Both were asleep in seconds.

Tim laid down in Tony's bed and listened for any noise coming from the other room. He hated Senior for what he put Tony through as a child...if he would have known he wouldn't have pushed so hard to let his father back into his life...he questioned how well he even knew him...but then he questioned if Tony even knew who he was.

As he was laying in bed he looked around the room. He had been in it before, but there had been subtle changes since his sister had moved in. There were now two framed photographs on his side table, one of him with an arm around Tim and Kate, Abby and Gibbs that had been taken not long after he had the plague; the other was one of him and Ziva.

It was strange to learn such heartbreaking details of Tony's life but it helped him to understand better...why he didn't like children but was so good with them, why he knew so much about movies, about sports, why he always looked out for others. His relationship with Gibbs now made way more sense...all the head slaps and private conversations. Gibbs knew about Zoey, but Gibbs also knew about him seeing Rachel.

When Tim woke up the next morning he went out to the living room to find his sister and Tony sitting on the couch discussing the movie Yours, Mine and Ours...the original with Henry Fonda. Sarah scooted over next to Tony and pulled his blanket over herself and tossed Tim the one she had been using without missing a beat in the conversation.

"My mom used to love this movie...I think I have seen it more than any others...but I haven't watched it in a very long time."

"What do you boys want to do today?" Sarah asked them.

"I'm going to go jogging at some point...maybe have dinner with Zoey...I was going to go by Gibbs' place too." Tony answered.

"Hate to break it to ya Tony but it is pouring rain outside." Tim said looking out the window.

"We should all go...find as many puddles as we can!" Sarah said jumping up.

"Last time I totally beat you and it took you over an hour to warm up." Tony said smiling at her.

"That's a yes from you...what about you Timmy are you in or are you a chicken?"

Twenty minutes later, with Tony leading the way they raced their way through town. They went from one monument to the next, across bridges, in circles all over until three hours later they got back to the apartment. Tim looked as though he may pass out, Sarah's teeth were chattering uncontrollably and Tony shook his head at both of them. "I am obviously a far superior athlete than the two of you."

"How...much...time...do you...spend...running?" Tim asked, trying to catch his breath.

"At least an hour."

"Sometimes an entire day." Sarah said pulling off her soaking wet sweatshirt and throwing it at Tony.

"I'm always running from something..." He responded shrugging his shoulders.

"I at least kept pace with you this time." Sarah said proud of herself.

"That you did my Padawan... McProbiwan did pretty good himself." He said kicking off his shoes. "I am going to go shower before you get a chance to hog the bathroom." Tony said tossing the sweatshirt back and taking off down the hall.

"How do you keep up with his mood changes?" Tim asked stripping off his own soaking wet sweatshirt and kicking off his shoes.

"Same way he keeps up with mine."

"Yours are pretty awful."

"And yours aren't?"

Once they were all dry and warm Tony grabbed his jacket, "McGee you drop me at Gibbs on your way?"

"Sure."

"Tony are you sure?" Sarah asked concerned. Tim saw Tony give her a subtle nod, "I will have my phone on." For an instant he thought he saw tears in Tony's eyes but when he looked back they were gone.

When Tim stopped in front of Gibbs house he turned to Tony, "How is he doing?"

"He is Gibbs."

"You help him with the boat?"

"Whatever he happens to be working on...yeah."

"Do you guys talk?"

"Some."

"He thought it would be good for you to see Rachel."

"Was his idea."

"He knew about Zoey."

"He gets all of her notes." When Tim made a confused look Tony explained, "When I called Sarah from the cemetery she called Gibbs...then Zoey...He was with Fornell or he would have gone..."

"How often do you come here?"

"Depends...couple times a week...when I need to process...or if he is having a rough day I will come by."

"Thank you for telling me...all of...everything."

"Tim...I really do love you...I know I say it jokingly but...I don't know where I would be without you."

"I love you too Tony." Tim said with a ridiculous grin on his face.

"Ugh...I need to go in there before you get all sappy on me." Tony smirked.

"See ya later Tony." Tim said, still grinning as Tony hit the roof of the car twice before walking up the path to Gibbs door.


	7. Chapter 7

Tony took a deep breath as he walked through the front door, the smell of sawdust, barbecue, whiskey and coffee felt like home to him. Not surprisingly Gibbs was not in the main part of the house. As Tony made his way down the steps to the basement he wondered if his Boss was even home. Everything was too quiet.

As he stepped off the bottom step he looked over and found Gibbs sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. Sitting on the floor between his feet was a photograph of him and Diane, Tony picked it up and studied it as he sat down next to him.

"First...and last vacation together...if it were up to her we would have still been married." He said his voice thick with emotion as he leaned his head back against the wall revealing the sawdust tracks of tears down his face.

"I told McGee...then had a panic attack..." Spitting it out was always easy with Gibbs...he knew he didn't even need to speak in full sentences because the message was the same either way.

"He see that again?" Gibbs asked referring to the night Diane was murdered.

"Stayed the night."

"Sarah was there?"

"I stayed with her."

"He okay with that?"

"It is weird isn't it?"

"You deserve to be loved Dinozzo."

"You too Boss."

"I got them all killed."

"Not having this argument again."

"I failed to protect them...Shannon, Kelly...Kate...Jenny...Diane..."

"Said I'm not having that argument again."

"How was your dinner."

"Ridiculous. Did you just come back here?"

"Sergie."

"Solo?"

"No one else needs to get hurt."

"Can't lose you either Boss."

"I will get the bastard."

"We will." Tony told him.

"Bishop in yet?" Gibbs asked Tony. He knew she was the perfect fit for the team but just as he was scared of treating her how he had the other two they were scared to let her in.

"Trying Boss...it's not easy."

"She's a fighter."

"So were Kate and Ziva."

"You talk to Rachel today?"

"Should I?"

"You tell me."

"I'm fine for working...just hard to talk about..."

"How is McGee?"

"Seems fine...was hard for him to see me freak out...and he was pissed I didn't talk to him before."

"You going to talk to him now?"

"More than I did...it is hard though...Sarah...I can tell her anything...she doesn't pity me...He...he tries not to..."

"Zoey?"

"Is a good distraction."

"Bishop?"

"Doesn't know anything...it is different this time."

"She should."

"Why?"

"She is your partner."

"Who is yours?"

"You gonna get to work or what?" Gibbs said standing up.

Tony stood went over and poured some bourbon into a jar on the bench, he took a swig then set it down in front of his Boss.

"I keep feeling her blood on my face...the look in her eyes. Her funeral...God I miss that crazy bitch."

"The two of you were impossible...always bickering..."

"But she was there when it mattered."

"You trusted her right off..."

"Then Ari killed her."

"Ziva?"

"Left me."

"McGee and Zoe?"

"Wish you would talk too Boss."

"Who says I'm not Dinozzo."

"Hollis or Rachel?"

"Rachel."

"Helping?"

"Does it help you?"

"Yes and no."

"It's my fault."

"You gonna run away again?" Tony asked him a few minutes later.

Gibbs took a long sip of the bourbon and slammed down the jar and turned to face Tony who stepped forward and got right in his face. "Sometimes you don't know when to shut up." Gibbs spit in his face.

"Are. You. Going. To. Run. Again?" Tony yelled taking another step forward. He saw the age in his bosses eyes, the pain, he reached his hands out and gripped his shoulders, once again yelling the same question.

Gibbs pushed Tony's arms off and threw the jar across the room, "DAMMIT DINOZZO!"

Tony got up in his face again, "Answer me." As soon as Tony felt Gibbs shoulders drop Tony pulled him into a hug and Gibbs grabbed ahold of him and fell into him.

"No I'm not going anywhere." Gibbs mumbled a few minutes later as he straightened himself back up.

"Feel better?" Tony asked with a smirk only to receive a head smack. "Love you too Boss." Tony said reaching for a sander and starting to work.

"Don't you dare pull that at work."

"Wouldn't dream of it boss."

"I will do anything to get him."

"When it gets too personal?"

"You take lead."

"You going to let me?"

"Not a chance."

"Good to know."

As the days wore on Tony spent more time with Bishop, Tim spent more time with Abby, Gibbs continued to go rogue. When Palmer had his baby they all came together for the first time outside of work. They all met at the hospital where they met baby Victoria Elizabeth and Breana joked that Tony would be the first babysitter because his gift was more inline with her Parenting style.

"Here you go Tony...now don't drop her." Abby told him finally handing the infant off.

"If you guys knew what she went through during the birthing process you wouldn't be quite so worried about breaking her you know." Tony smiled at Victoria.

"What do you know about childbirth Dinozzo?" Gibbs asked him while rolling his eyes.

"Delivered more babies on the side of the road than you can imagine...three in one shift back when Zoey and I were on patrol together..."

"You've delivered babies? My Dear Anthony I never would have guessed." Ducky smiled.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you." Breana said smiling at Jimmie.

"The Gremlin is going to make a great Dad." Tony said smiling back at the two proud parents.

"He just needs to relax on whether or not she will break by eating drinking or wearing the wrong things." Breana smiled at her husband.

"Hey now! I am not that bad."

"Palmer you did go all the way down to the lab when she asked for some water." Tim said raising an eyebrow.

"That is because the pH upstairs is..."

"Now now children...if I do recall in the 1950's..."

"Duck save the story time for later. We do have work to do." Gibbs interrupted.

"Come on Gibbs you can't be grumpy around this sweet little baby can you?" Abby asked as she took the baby from Tony and passed it on to him.

Ducky went back to his story as little Victoria was passed around the room. When Breana yawned Tony spoke up, "K Gremlin we will let you guys settle in. Thanks for letting us all visit."

He went over to gently hug Breana and she whispered into his ear, "You are welcome anytime. You will be her favorite...she was most relaxed when you were holding her, she loves you already."

He stood up shakily after she kissed him on the cheek and Palmer put his arm on his shoulder, Tony wrapped his arm around his back. "Thank you Tony. For everything."

As they all filed out Tony was the last one to leave the room and he heard Abby and Ellie asking each other what Breana had said to him. At that moment Tony wanted nothing more than to have one more chance for a hug from his own mother, or to have his father acknowledge that he was more than just a prop.

As they made there way to the elevator Tony felt eyes on him, he was surprised though when Bishop pulled him back as the doors opened, "I forgot my purse in there. Tony is going to go with me to grab it. We will meet you guys back there."

As they all continued on Tim and Gibbs looked at him questioningly, "Will be right behind ya Boss." Tony nodded.

He knew that she didn't come with a purse and instead of walking back towards the room he sat down in one of the chairs in the deserted waiting area. Bishop stood right to his side, blocking anyone from seeing his face as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Tony...what did she say to you to make it look like you just saw a ghost?"

"What are you talking about Bishop?" Tony asked leaning back in the chair, taking a deep breath trying to calm his nerves.

"Let me be your Partner Tony." She said perching herself on the armrest and sliding her arm across his back to his other shoulder hugging him into herself.

Tony couldn't hide the release of his very shaky breath as he fought back tears... He let her pull his body against hers and he leaned his head into her side. "Days like today make me think about my parents." Tony told her quietly.

"What are they like?" She urged.

"My mother died when I was eight and Senior...well...he is a flake."

Instead of offering words of comfort like Tony had expected she gave him a full blown Abby hug and held him. Tony felt his arms act on their own free will and return the hug as he leaned his head into her shoulder. When he released her she stood up, sliding her hand down his arm and lingering on his wrist, "Thank you Tony." She told him with a sad smile.

Tony nodded at her and stood up slowly, "I'm trying."

"I know." She whispered as they walked back toward the elevator.

When they returned they found Gibbs glaring at his computer and Tim was no where to be seen. "What's going on Boss?" Tony asked sitting down at his desk. When Gibbs glared at him he knew his answer. Tim came back up a couple hours later and sat down at his desk.

The three of them sat silently catching up on paperwork and old emails as they listened to Gibbs curse his computer. Finally at eight Gibbs stood up and threw his empty coffee cup in the trash, "Go home." He said as he walked towards the elevator.

Tony jumped up and got in the elevator with him, he flipped the switch and Gibbs glared, "Got something to say Dinozzo."

"I am here Boss." Tony told him.

"Just frustrated Kid...going to find Fornell." Gibbs told him.

Tony flipped the elevator back on and nodded. "Let me know when you make it home." Gibbs nodded as he stepped out of the elevator. Tony rode the elevator back up and down with Tim and Bishop.

"You guys want to come over for pizza and a movie?" Tony asked them. Tim had already planned on it and was surprised when he asked Bishop.

"What movie tonight?" Tim asked.

"Hook." Tony answered.

"I'm in!" Bishop said with a huge smile.

"Timmy you stay tonight?"

"Yeah...you want to drive or me?"

"Either way...figured one of us could ride with her."

"I'll meet you there with the pizza. Sarah already call it in?"

"She is your sister so yes probably...she does tend to be a bit impatient."

"You're the one who asked her to move in."

"Smartest move I ever made."

"You guys still living together? I thought it was just until she found an apartment." Bishop asked as they got in the car.

"Things change Ell."

"That they do."

"You want to have Jake come over too?"

"No!" She answered a little too quickly. Earning a look from Tony. "He is working late again tonight."

"Whatever you say."

"Zoey?"

"Working I think."

"You think?"

"You an echo now?"

"How often do you and Tim hang out after work?"

"Few times a month."

"Have you guys always been close?"

"Not like we are now."

"You act like brothers."

"So I've been told."

"If it was him who noticed earlier...you would have cried."

"Doubtful."

"No it's not."

"He would have distracted me instead of focusing on it."

"He would have known why you were upset."

"Not as much as Sarah."

"You are closer to Sarah than Tim?"

"It's different...she knows more about my childhood."

"Was it really that bad?"

"I either bury it or fixate on it..." Tony told her, "Turn in here." He said directing her into the parking garage.

Bishop followed Tony in the front door, "Honey I'm home!" He sang out.

"Laundry." She yelled from down the hall.

"Make yourself comfy Bishop. Tim will be here in a couple minutes. I'll be right back." He said heading down the hall.

When he walked into his room he found Sarah putting away his clothes. When she looked up at him she ran over and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Tim told me about the baby. You okay?"

"I am now." Tony said hugging her back.

"You brought Bishop."

"Yeah...about that...I almost had a panic attack...she noticed..."

"I knew I liked her." Sarah said as she put a stack of Tony's underwear into the drawer.

"When did this become normal?" Tony asked her as he noticed what she was doing.

"Pizza is here." They heard Tim yell down the hallway.

The four of the all squeezed onto the couch, laughed, joked, recited lines from the film and had a nice relaxed evening. When the movie ended Bishop said her goodbyes and left and the remaining three all got ready for bed. Tim was surprised when Sarah brought out a blanket for him to use on the couch, the last few times he had stayed he used Tony's bed.

He wasn't surprised though when Sarah went into Tony's bedroom and sat down next to him on the bed. "When you saw everyone with the baby you thought about your Mother...wanting her to hold you...wanting your dad to..."

"Something like that." Tony mumbled.

"You want me to..?" Sarah started to ask.

Seeing Tony nod his head Sarah crawled around and Tony laid his head on her chest as she held him. When she started singing Baby Beluga Tim smiled and laid down, it is the song his mother used to sing to her when she was a baby. While he did not understand their relationship in the least he knew that the two of them were far closer than he ever thought possible.

He watched as His best friend fell asleep in his sisters arms. As his head slid down her arm he was amazed at the ease in which she untangled herself and laid him down on his pillow. She tucked him in tight and kissed his temple before walking over and turning off the light.

When she walked out into the hall she saw her brother watching her and instead of walking into her bedroom she went into the living room. "Spit it out."

"One time you act like his Mom...another his girlfriend...another his friend and then you can fight like siblings."

"Okay?"

"You guys are way closer than roommates."

"You jealous?"

"Is he still seeing Zoe?"

"Same as he has been."

"She knows you sleep together?"

"Yes Tim...as a matter of fact she does...but don't say it like that...we aren't sleeping together...we just sleep together."

"I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"You don't think we have talked about this stuff...we have been going to therapy together for weeks. We are for each other what we need to be at any given moment."

"Tonight he needed you to tuck him in?"

"What he really needed was his mother...but since she is dead..." Sarah said annoyed.

"He didn't ask you to do that."

"If you knew how much pain he has been through in his life...but every time he tries to talk to you...he doesn't want to scare you away."

"How can I get him to talk to me?"

"Ask him if you guys can go to therapy together."

"You think he would let me?"

"I dunno...he lets me...Zoe has gone a couple times. Gibbs went last week when I couldn't."

"I think I will try that...how are you doing? It is a lot to take on when you have your own stuff..."

"It isn't one sided...he does more for me than I do for him..."

"Doesn't seem like it."

"Cuz you aren't around all the time and when I freak out Tony doesn't share that with the world."

"What do you mean freak out?"

"He left work yesterday to pick me up and bring me home and held me til I fell asleep...then he went back to work..."

"He said he was getting dinner and going to the dry cleaner..."

"Just trust me...Tony is amazing...I would do anything for him..."

"I have only seen him really freak like five times in the two months I have been living here."

"But his nightmares..."

"Hasn't had them in a while...though it wouldn't surprise me if he did tonight."

"Why was today hard? He seemed fine till we were leaving the hospital..."

"My guess is seeing everyone...especially Breana and Jimmy with the baby...his parents were not like that...he was like a movie prop for his dad and his mom...he was always with a revolving door of nannies...he has very few memories with either one of his parents."

"He gave the worst gift for the baby shower thing...bottle of something, ear plugs and cash... But then at the hospital he was so comfortable with her and said he has delivered babies..."

"Uh Tim... He gave them a fancy car seat thing with a fancy stroller and video monitor system for her room and started a college savings account for her."

"What? Why did he...that ass...I don't understand why he doesn't want people to see the good in him."

"Just go to bed...and ask him about going with to therapy."

She flipped the light off and went in and went to sleep. When she woke up in the morning she heard Tony and Tim in the kitchen talking, when she walked into the kitchen she kissed Tim on the cheek and went around and Tony grabbed her in a hug.

"I'm going by the hospital after therapy today."

"I'll see you back here then." Sarah smiled.

Tim went with Tony and while it was difficult for him to open up, Rachel realized and focused the questions on the job and the team dynamic...she made it easy...and made Tim tell Tony what he thought about the dynamic as well. Things went much smoother between the two of them after that.

When the next big case was one that required him going to RMA...he was snapped back to freak out mode. He was quiet most of the six hour drive there. Bishop was just as quiet...obviously preoccupied with whatever was going on with her and Jake.

Tony had seen the look on Jakes face when she said she would change in the car...all their classes together...he knew their line of work made it hard to maintain relationships but to watch theirs slowly crumble...Bishop deserved better than that.

The shock he saw on her face as she learned more about Tony the cadet was apparent. Over time he had changed...he had always tried to be selfish...to not care...to fly solo...everytime he had failed, gotten scared and then ran away. At RMA he cared about Travis...but to keep his image...or the image he wanted...he had failed him as a friend. In college he saved that boy from the fire...but couldn't save his sister...he focused on sports...but never focused on friends. In Baltimore he didn't even know his partner...until he met Gibbs he was always running.

With Gibbs things were different...in a matter of a couple years he had transformed him from a cocky, womanizing playboy into a hard working dedicated agent. Kate had been a huge part of his opening up...his choosing not to run away when things got hard.

Abby is why he stayed though...he wanted to run after Kate died...so bad...but he couldn't let Abby down. While Tony and Kate had a flirty, sibling like messed up and unexplainable closeness his relationship with Abby was different. The two of them were very much like family...or at least what they imagined family to be like.

It was Abby that had pushed Tony to get close to Tim. He was important to her so he had to be important to him. It was much the same with Bishop. He knew he could become close to her...that he could trust her but it was not the same as it was with Kate...or Ziva and that change scared him.

Those six hour car rides...the adjoining hotel rooms...the forced reliving of his adolescence...Bishop had been privy to more in a few days than he had shared with Tim in years. He was not ready to have everyone see him for who he was.

In truth he saw that he was broken, tarnished, scared, angry and sad. For years he had shone signs of the brokenness but never the sadness. He did not want the pity that came along with it. What the others were starting to see though was different...they saw a man who had been thrown around, hurt, hung out to dry and yet still managed to see the good in everyone but himself. He took care of and fiercely protected those he was close to.

When Bishop handed Tony the photograph of him and Travis that she had taken at the school Tony did not see pity in her eyes, he actually heard her words and took them to heart. After she left he picked up his phone and called Travis.

To meet him halfway was a big step, he was ready to connect his past with his present. Travis was a witness to the struggle Tony went through...a teenage boy desperate for attention but refusing to let anyone know the real him. They had shared a room for nearly a year.

When Tony returned to his apartment at two in the morning he found Sarah asleep in his bed. He quietly got ready for bed and crawled in next to her. "Bad day?" He asked her as he slid his arm under her neck and she wrapped herself around him nodding her head.

"You've been gone most of the week." She whispered.

"I missed you too." Tony said leaning his cheek against her head.

"How was your dinner?" She asked. As much as he had been gone they had spoken on the phone and texted several times.

"It was...enlightening." He drawled through a yawn as he closed his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep in there." She admitted as she snuggled further into his chest already half asleep.

"Sleep now Baby." He whispered as he fell asleep holding her.

She woke up four hours later feeling his warm breath on the back of her neck and feeling the weight of his arm wrapped around her. She wiggled around so they were face to face and she traced his features with her fingertips. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at her.

"You look more relaxed today. Meeting with Travis did you some good."

"Coming home did."

"Can you go with me to the cemetery this week?"

"I can't promise you the day but we will make it happen."

"Thanks Tony." She said as she slid around and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"Why do you want to go?"

"They got his stone done...I just don't want to go alone."

"Shouldn't you go with Tim?"

"Maybe...but I need you to be there."

"Okay. I will talk to Tim today and we can all go together."

As they got ready for the day Tony kept looking over his shoulder checking on Sarah. She was moving slower than normal and he knew that something was on her mind...he knew it was something about their dad but it had nothing to do with the fact that his headstone had arrived.

He wrapped her in a huge hug before leaving and made her promise to call if she needed. When he got to the office he noticed Tim was acting strange as well. "What's eating you two?"

"He was scheduled to start chemo today...the surgery was suppose to have an eight week recovery time and then the chemo...obviously things did not go as planned." Tim told him. "Didn't Sarah tell you?"

"She was in my bed when I got home last night."

"Okay?"

"It was two in the morning..."

"You were out with Zoe?"

"Had a late dinner with Travis."

"The guy from RMA?"

"He was my roommate."

"Seriously?"

"Not the point McGee."

"What is the big deal about her being in your bed? It isn't the first time."

"That's just it...it is the first time I came home and she was in there...she goes in there when I need...otherwise we stay in her room. She just said she wanted to go to the cemetery this week."

"Was she okay?"

"She misses him."

"She stayed with you didn't she?"

"What do you think?" Tony said shaking his head.

"Are you going with her to the cemetery?"

"We are going to the cemetery."

"I don't want to."

"I don't care."

"I'm not going."

"Not up for debate Timothy." Tony said resting his hand on his shoulder. "We are cutting out early and going there."

"Gibbs won't let us leave early." Tim said as he sat down at his desk.

"Early for what?"

"Take Sarah to the cemetery." Tony told him.

"About time." Gibbs said sitting down at his desk, obviously preoccupied.

"Three o'clock." Tony said as he texted Sarah.

The day dragged on, no major cases came in and they spent the day finishing up old paperwork and looking at a few cold cases. At exactly three Gibbs looked up from his desk, "Go. See you tomorrow." Tony looked over at Tim who nodded and together they walked out. Tony drove the short distance to Sarah's work and she hopped in the car.

Tony saw that she had been crying and he looked at her in the rear view mirror. She put her hand on his shoulder through the headrest and he reached up and laced her fingers with his. The drive there was in silence and as the three of them got slowly out of the car Tony grabbed Sarah's hand and pushed Tim gently forward by his other hand between his shoulders.

As they approached the grave Tony saw the tears fall from Tims eyes. He let go of Sarah's hand just in time to grab hold of him before his legs gave out under him. As Tony eased him to the ground next to the new headstone Tim began to sob uncontrollably.

Tony sat down directly behind him in the grass and Tim fought to hide his face in his hands. "Don't hide it." Was the only thing that Tony said to him as Sarah sat down with tears streaming down her face. The three of them formed a triangle as Sarah leaned into Tony's shoulder as she put her arm around her older brother.

"If he would have listened he would have still been here." Tim growled.

"We don't know that...the surgery only had a fifty percent chance of working and then he would have to have gotten strong enough to even get the chemo." Sarah told him as she ran her hand down his face wiping some of the tears.

"He just gave up...he didn't even try."

"It was his choice." Tony told him. "What is this really about?" He asked him.

Tim leaned forward, pulling away from his sister and Tony and shook his head. "He never said it...not once."

"Never said what?" Sarah asked.

"He did though and he was." Tony told him.

"Did and was what?"

"Why couldn't he just say it?" Tim turned to look at Tony with desperation in his eyes.

"Why did you have to say it at the funeral?"

"Say what at the funeral?"

"I needed to hear it Tony." Tim told him shakily.

Tony turned to face him head on and braced his hands on Tim's shoulders looking into his eyes until Tim fell against him. "He did Tim...and we love you so much..." Tony whispered against him causing Tim to start sobbing.

"What the hell Tony?" Sarah asked, completely shocked by the scene unfolding before her.

Tony turned to look at her as he held his best friend. "The Admiral never told your brother that he loved him...or that he was proud of him..."

"Oh my God..." She whimpered as she threw herself onto her older brother. "Tim you are the most amazing, loving, strong, loyal brother. I didn't know...he always told me I can go to you for anything...he wouldn't have done that if he didnt love the man you have become...I guess we never really spent time together...not the three of us anyway..."

Tim pulled himself back as he tried to compose himself, "Is that the first time since the funeral?" Tony asked him and when Tim nodded as he rubbed his hands over his face, "You can't do that."

"Obviously." Tim said looking up sheepishly.

"I love you." Sarah said as she threw her arms around Tim again.

"I love you too." He said into her hair.

"Sarah you ready to head?" Tony asked. He knew if they waited much longer...he knew how exhausting it was and wanted to make sure they got Tim home. She nodded and stood up.

"Come on Probie lets get you home." Tony said gripping Tim's hand and pulling him up. With his arm around his back he led him to the car. Sarah climbed in the backseat as Tony got in the driver seat.

As Tony drove out the cemetery gates he reached his arm across and rested it on Tims shoulder squeezing gently. Tim nodded and closed his eyes. He knew Tony had his back and nothing would ever change that.

"Doing okay back there Darlin?" Tony asked when he noticed that Sarah had taken off her jacket and put on the very worn hoody that was laying on his backseat.

"Didn't think that was gonna happen..."

"It's a good thing Baby." Tony told her absentmindedly using pet names.

"Ant...how did we all get so screwed up from our parents?"

"Isn't everyone?"

"Not like this...your dad didn't give a shit...your mom was a...our family...its fucked up."

"We found each other though."

"Wish we would had as kids."

"We wouldn't be the same if that were the case."

"I guess...I just hate feeling like this...seeing the two of you so..."

"Broken?"

"Yeah."

"We will survive."

"Together."

"Have the pizza delivered tonight."

When they pulled up to the apartment Tony squeezed Tim's shoulder, waking him gently and they walked inside. Tim plopped down on the couch and flipped on the tv which of course was already on the movie channel.

Tony followed Sarah into the bedroom where he sat down on his bed. She looked at him for a minute before she walked over and climbed into her lap wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. "Hoody help?" He asked with a smile.

"This is better." She said snuggling her nose into his neck.

Tony smoothed the hair out of her face and kissed her softly on her temple. "Pizza will be here soon."

"I want you to stay with me tonight."

"What if I want you to stay with me tonight?"

"I think we can figure something out then." She said leaning up and kissing him on his cheek before she stood up and went to his dresser and pulled out his Ohio sweats.

"Why do you even keep those in here...you are the only one who ever wears them."

"Wouldn't be the same if they were in my room." Tony rolled his eyes as he walked out of the bedroom to answer the door to the pizza guy.

He set the pizza down on the table in front of Tim and flipped it open as he sat down next to him in the middle of the couch. "Sorry I freaked out on you."

"Really? You are going to apologize now? At least you weren't hyperventilating." Tony said with a smirk.

"Thanks Tony...and thank you for making me go."

"You had to go at some point...it gets easier...never easy...but..."

"Is Sarah okay?" Tim asked.

"I'm fine...just hungry." Sarah said bouncing into the living room in Tony's sweatpants and hoody.

"Haven't seen you in that outfit for a while."

"More comfy Timmy."

"I haven't gotten to wear those pants since she moved in here." Tony said smiling at her.

"You two...I don't get it." Tim said reaching forward and grabbing a slice of pizza.

"I love this movie...reminds me of my childhood." Tony said turning the volume on the tv.

"Richie Rich?" Tim looked at him sideways.

"I get it." Sarah said. "But why does that make you like the movie?"

"Nannies were fine...didn't always last long but Mom's assistant...until Mom died...I always saw my Dad as a superhero...never really knew him...and it wasnt until I got shipped from one boarding school to the other that I started to see who he really was..."

"I like that picture of you from RMA." Sarah whispered.

"The one Bishop took?"

"That would be the one...was me and Travis...think it was taken right after basketball season ended."

"Do you have other pictures of you growing up?" Tim asked Tony.

"I have a ton from before Mom died...a few of Senior and I after that at different events he dragged me to...and there are a ton of newspaper clippings and yearbook photos from basketball."

"Why don't you have any of them displayed?" Tim asked him.

"You don't really have any photos either...it would be kinda weird to have a shrine of myself..." Tony answered. "Now shhh...movie."

As the movie wore on he sunk further into the couch and kicked his feet up on the table. Tim fell asleep about fifteen minutes in and had his head resting on his shoulder. "When did you guys get close enough that it is normal for him to use you as a pillow and snore into your ear?" Sarah said smiling and pulling Tony's arm around her shoulders.

"I don't know...but I wouldn't change this for anything." Tony whispered pulling her closer into his side.

At the same time Tim stretched and turned in his sleep and Sarah giggled as Tim's head slid down against Tony's chest and Tony moved his arm so it was over Tim's chest and pulled his knee up cradling Tim into him. Sarah reached forward to the table and grabbed her phone, "if you take this then we do it right." Tony smiled.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked him. Tony smiled to her and leaned his head against hers and he closed his eyes looking as if he were fast asleep. Sarah aimed the camera and then snuggled into Tony with her eyes closed. As soon as the shutter clicked Tony and her opened their eyes to look at the picture. "I am totally printing this." Sarah whispered with a giant grin on her face.

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><p><em><strong>Comments Please!<br>**_


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